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"Your mother and I are separating because I want what's best for the country and your mother doesn't."
"I was just thinking, maybe I should become a Democrat again."
"We're TV pundits debating the issues."
"We need to start seeing other news sources."
"Jeremy and I broke up. I'm Wall Street Journal and he's Buzzfeed."
"Well, well, well – look who brought the moderates to the fight over our nation's moral core."
"What do you mean I live in a bubble?!"
Democrats vs. Republicans
"No matter who I vote for, Tia Carmen always votes for the other guy. That means my candidate gets two votes!"
'It just wouldn't work out Derek. I'm from a red state and you're from a blue state.'
"Now Brexit's sorted we've nothing to talk about."