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"I'm fond of you, Dave, I really am, but you're just not tough enough on crime."
"Three things he's got going in his favor: his image, his stand on the issues and he's running unopposed."
"Give me moderation or give me death!"
"And if elected, I promise to keep making promises."
"I prefer to pillage from the right and govern from the center."
"He's running on a new 'Radical Moderate' ticket."
"Just keep pushing your 'Don't be part of the herd' message."
'But not having any ideas means I've never flip-flopped!'
'You call this a marriage proposal? It's a copy of the republican platform on women's reproductive rights.'
Lotus Position: 'I'm a fiscal conservative, but a liberal on social issues and the environment...'
Stop the Austerity Cuts/Hands Off the Middle East/Say No to Fracking.
"Campaigning is so EXPENSIVE these days!"
"Higher deficits? Fair enough. Out of control spending? Maybe. But who gets invited to George Clooney's house for dinner? This guy!"
"I'm running for president!"
Title: Political candidate focused on minor issues of interest to few
"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."
Vote For Me!