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"How can they call this a progress report?"
'As part of the green revolution, our report cards were printed on biodegradable paper...'
"You need to start eating homework with better grades."
"This is an improvement. You helped him study for his last test."
'But...Just think how much better I could be doing, if only we had school-sponsored prayer sessions.'
"I have to study harder. My folks are getting C sick."