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Elvis - The Third Choice
Junk Stamps For Junk Mail.
"I saved a bundle on vacation by shipping myself around the world first class."
Stamp with 'Lick Me' instead of 'Kick Me' sign stuck to its back.
'The Forever postage stamps I bought at 42 are now 49. That's an eighteen percent increase. Has your investment portfolio done as well?'
'But I have these books of forever stamps!'
"My honest opinion? No, the 'Forever' tattoo does not make you look younger."
Things of the past...
'Today stocks closed higher against the old-time baseball card and postage stamp.'
"Did I put enough postage on that?", "Just barely."
'As the young pretender I had hoped to get my head on a postage stamp'
'New Post Office policy, Smith! Trading the customer up to higher priced stamps!'
'You say that the letter is too heavy and needs extra stamps? Surely that will make it even heavier?'
'No wonder the country's going bankrupt - Buy TWO!'
"Are forever stamps ok?"
"What I don't know about the side of my own head, you could fit on the back of a postage stamp."
"The snail-mail of our species is deadlier than the e-mail."
"Your grandfather tells those, 'Just when I thought I was licked' stories, too?"
"Just drop your letter in the box is all, you don't have to push a 'send' key."