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'Your honor, my client requests the maximum bail possible so that he can post it with his frequent-flier credit card.'
"I've worked out it's cheaper for me to post myself, rather than catch the train..."
"I saved a bundle on vacation by shipping myself around the world first class."
'Sorry, ma'am, you just missed it. But we're expecting another one to blow through town in about an hour or so.'
"We have to get to the Post Office. They've got a big sign down there that says 'mail early'."
"I'm a teacher and I send student progress reports home to their parents. Do you have any stamps commemorating great educators? I try to inspire my students any time I can."
'Sorry, buddy, but we can't deliver this without postage.'
'I've just bought a book of stamps. Should be worth a fair bit in a couple of years.'
"Incorrect postage, wrong zip code...it's your type we encourage to use email!"
"Did I put enough postage on that?"
'Nineteen dollars shipping and handling?? Does every package get a Bon Voyage party and a makeover?'
"We have accidentally shipped your package to anchorage in Alaska instead of Dublin. That's why the postage was so high."
'Of course mail delivery seems slow. What do you expect from a 'Forever' Stamp?'
Man refusing to accept junk mail.
'Sure I can do same day service.'
'With your regular carrier overdue you'll have to use me.'
U. S. POST OFFICE, 'You want to mail that package to Cleveland? - I'm not sure it can GET there from here.'
'It's our, 'message in a bottle'... It says; 'Return to sender, due to insufficient postage'.'
'I got thirty Christmas cards today. . .Pity I can't afford to post them.'
"Interesting, the price of postage stamps is going up."