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'Forget tradition! This thing can boil eye of newt in 15 seconds!'
"How come when men cook outdoors it's 'barbecuing,' but when women do it it's 'witchcraft'?"
"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"
Tags:witch, witches, wizard, wizards, cauldron, cauldrons, alchemy, alchemist, alchemists, potion, potions, spell, spells, magic, magic spell, magic spells, scientist, scientists, test, tests, testing, scientific method, sorcerer, sorcerers, sorcery, science, know better, knows better, quack, quacks
'I don't care if you only need the eye. You'll have to buy the whole newt!'
'My Brew's really hoppy. . . I use the whole frog!'
"I'm just stating if a watched pot never boils, we could go finish the 5 minutes left of Handmaid's tale."
'No worries Grizella, let me call my 'eye of newt' guy...'
"Double, double, toil and trouble, fire burn and Botox bubble."
Tags:witch, witches, three witches, the three witches, macbeth, cauldron, cauldrons, chant, chants, chanting, spell, spells, potion, potions, magic potion, magic potions, plastic surgery, plastic surgeries, cosmetic surgery, cosmetic surgeries, look, looks, appearance, appearances, ugly, fix up, fixing up, more attractive, prettier, pretty, vain, vanity
"It's one of those microbrews."
"Instead of eye of newt, how about some fat of chicken."
Tags:witch, witches, potion, potions, magic potion, magic potions, hubble bubble, cauldron, cauldrons, witches cauldron, witches cauldrons, eye of newt, witch's cauldron, witch's cauldrons, cook, cooking, chicken fat, cook, cooks, chef, new idea, new ideas, controversial, controversy, controversial idea, controversial ideas, flavour, flavor, flavour, flavors
"Hold on though... 'to unlock the complete incantation... download potions pro?'"
Tags:witches, witch, cauldron, cauldrons, spell, spells, incantation, incantations, magic, alchemy, alchemists, potion, potions, magic potion, magic potions, magic spell, magic spells, smartphone, smartphones, smart phone, smart phones, smart device, smart devices, tablet, tablets, app, apps, applications, application, software, update, updates, os, os update, operating system, in app purchase, in app purchases, upgrade, upgrades, forced upgrade, forced upgrades, modern life, digital life, phone problems, smartphone problems
'Don't be a fool!!'
Tags:run, running, runs, runner, runners, marathon, marathons, ran, witch, witches, drink, drinking, drinks, drank, refreshing, refresh, refreshed, refreshes, fool, fooled, trick, tricked, tricking, tricks, poison, poisoned, poisons, potion, potions, magic, black magic, evil, dark magic, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"We stir the brew all morning, Marissa comes in whenever, stirs the brew for an house, takes a smoke break, goes on her phone, we stir the brew, do some chanting, the sun comes up, whatever, we're still stirring, Marissa's on her phone again, and I'm, like, 'Seriously, Marissa?'"
Tags:witch, witches, magic, cauldron, cauldrons, witchs cauldron, witchs cauldrons, potion, potions, witchs potion, witchs potions, workplace gripes, colleague, colleagues, lazy colleague, lazy colleagues, annoying colleague, annoying colleagues, fag break, fag breaks, smoke break, smoke breaks, dossing, dosser, dossers, slacker, slackers, slacking
"By the way, does anything other than 'trouble' rhyme with 'bubble'?"
'It cooks great, but it won't fit in the dishwasher.'
"How do you get your children not to stick to the bottom of the cauldron?"
"I make big batches and freeze it."
"Does this poison smell weird to you?"
Tags:poison, poisons, cauldron, cauldrons, spell, spells, potion, potions, potion-making, witch, witches, cook, cooks, cooking, weird smell, weird smells, smells off, smelling off, halloween, concoction, concoctions, toxic, toxin, toxins, recipe, recipes, tricky recipe, tricky recipes, difficult recipe, difficult recipes, second-guess, second-guesses, second-guessing
"It's a magic potion that makes everything you say interesting."
Tags:mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, kid, kids, child, children, baby, babies, toddler, toddlers, wine, glass of wine, drink, drinking, alcohol, alcoholic, drunk, tipsy, magic, potion, potions, magic potion, magic potions, child talk, kid talk, interesting, relax, relaxing
"And, just to be on the safe side, tongue of attorney."
'It works. So what if the Food and Drug Administration doesn't approve of it?'
'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'
'What's your poison?'
'Oh great. Now the FDA is regulating safety coated caplets of eyes of newt.'