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"And now, if I may, I'd like to put You on hold for a moment while I have a few words with Mammon."
Tags:religion, religious, god, pray, prayer, prayers, praying, bible, biblical, new testament, mammon, evil, business, businessman, businessmen, money, finances, wealth, wealthy, rich, greed, greedy, avarice, materialism, materialistic, communication, phone, phones, telephone, telephones, call, calls, put on hold, hold, holding
"God has chosen to ignore my prayers concerning the outcome of this year's election, and so I feel that I am once again free to be a very bad little boy."
Tags:politics, politician, politicians, political, political leader, political leaders, government, governments, president, presidents, election, elections, relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, god, gods, religion, religious, prayer, prayers, pray
"Hello there. I'm the bluebird of Orthodox Judaism. What do you say you get up, you put on t'fillin and you daven this morning?"
"He was the answer to my prayers. The answer was 'No'."
Tags:prayer, prayers, praying, pray, prays, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, date, dates, boyfriend, boyfriends, husband, husbands, wife, wives, married life, married couple, marital problem, marital problems, marriage problem, marriage problems, disappointment, dream man, dream husband, dream boyfriend
"Saints preserve us! The boulevardier got another jaywalking ticket."
Tags:saints preserve us, god help us, saying, sayings, expression, expressions, prayer, prayers, pray, praying, plea, heavenly intervention, old age, old people, elderly, elder, elders, ageing, aging, retirement, retired, boulevardier, rich people, wealth, wealthy, rich, wealthy people, fashionable, socialite, socialites, men, man, woman, women, jaywalk, jaywalking, jaywalker, jaywalkers, ticket, traffic ticket, traffic law, traffic laws
"Peace on Earth, good will toward crows."
Tags:selfish, self-interest, self-interested, prayer, prayers, pray, prays, praying, peace on earth, world peace, nature, animal, animals, selfishness, bug, bugs, turtle, turtles, chipmunk, chipmunks, frog, frogs, crow, crows, god, ego, egotist, egotists, egotistical, species, preference, preferences, self-involved
"...and keep me a normal, healthy, American girl."
Prayers For Agnostics
"No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting."
Tags:priest, priests, catholic priest, catholic priests, catholic, catholics, restaurant, restaurants, family meal, family meals, grace, saying grace, pray, praying, devout, texting, text, texts, phone, phones, glued to your phone, glued to the phone, phone addict, phone addicts, modern families, modern life
"And please protect me from the appearance of wrongdoing."
Tags:religion, religious, pray, praying, prayer, prayers, guilt, guilty, politics, politician, politicians, government, governments, appearance, appearances, wrongdoing, white-collar crime, media, press, journalism, protect, protection, business, businessman, businessmen, ethics, unethical, scandal, scandals
'Wouldn't it be easier to just SMS God, rather than pray'
God laughs with you, not at you - unless you pray for something stupid.
"All right. O.K. I'll admit that last request may have been a little over the top."
Tags:prayer, pray, praying, prayers, kneel, kneeling, god, gods, god in heaven, heaven, request, requesting, prayed, prays, religion, religious, religiously, religions, demanding, demand, demands, demanded, high maintenance, fickle, lightning, lightening, thunderbolt, thunderbolts, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, worship, worships
"Are we allowed to pray?"
"Under the Freedom of Information Act, I'm requesting that you disclose what you have on me in your files."
Tags:foia, foia request, foia requests, request, requests, pray, prays, praying, prayer, prayers, freedom of information, freedom of information act, freedom of information acts, disclose, discloses, disclosing, disclosure, personal information, personal info, info, information, god, almighty, judge, judges, judgment, judgments, judgement, judgements, insecure, insecurity, insecurities, ethics, government, governments, law, laws, lawyer, lawyers
"Catherine would like to share some holiday thoughts with us on the subject of gender-neutral toys."
Tags:gender neutral, holiday, holidays, christmas, christmas season, holiday season, dinner, dinners, politically correct, political correctness, speech, speeches, liberal, liberals, address, addresses, addressing, christmas dinner, christmas dinners, xmas, x-mas, pc, pc culture, politically correct culture, pray, prays, praying, prayer, prayers, modern life, modern times
"And may you also bless the bounty we are about to receive from that convenience store over there."
Tags:criminal, criminals, robbery, robberies, robber, robbers, thief, thieves, stick-up, stick-ups, hold-up, hold-ups, stickup, stickups, holdup, holdups, convenience store, convenience stores, religion, religious, pray, prayer, prayers, praying, bless, blessings, sins, sinning, bounty, money, loot, gang, gangs, urban, urban life, urban living, city, cities, city life, living in the city, city living, modern life, found god, found religion
"Please, Lord, enough already."
Tags:enough, enough is enough, enough already, last, last resort, last resorts, desperate measures, desperation, desperate, desperately, religion, turned to religion, faith, faiths, faithful, pray, praying, prayed, prayer, prayers, god, gods, heaven, heavens, stress, stressed, stressing, existential, existential dread, existence is pain, drudge, drudgery, overwork, overworked, over work, over worked, break down, breakdown, break-down
Tenodera Sinensis Athiesto (AKA the Anti-Praying Mantis).
Tags:pray, prays, prayer, prayers, praying, mantis, atheist, atheists, atheism, tenodera, sinensis, athiesto, complain, complains, complaint, complaints, nativity, nativities, scene, scenes, anti, call, calls, calling, caller, callers, file, filing, files, city, cities, hall, halls, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
'When the teacher says 'heaven help me', is that praying in school?'
"That was fast."
Tags:response, responses, response team, response teams, angel, angels, pray, prayers, prayer, answer, answers, answering, heavenly, god, instant, instantaneous, instant response, instant responses, quick, quick response, quick responses, hurry, hurries, hurrying, christian, christians, christianity, theist, theists, believer, believers, faithful, almighty, god, holy spirit
"Our religious friends are praying, our atheist friends are sending good thoughts, and our lawyer friends are figuring out who to sue."
Tags:thoughts and prayers, prayers, praying, pray, thought, thoughts, in my thoughts, athiest, athiests, tragedy, tragic, tragic accident, in our thoughts, hospital, hospitals, ill, illness, sickness, sick, death, dying, terminal illness, accident, accidents, lawyer, lawyers, litigious culture, sue, suing, litigiousness, no win no fee, litigious, litigious society, modern culture, modern society, ambulance chaser, ambulance chasers, frivolous lawsuit, lawsuit, lawsuits
"And may we continue to be worthy of consuming a disproportionate share of this planet's resources."
Tags:consumer, consumers, consumption, carrying capacity, resources, resource, earth, save the planet, saving the planet, greed, greedy, planet's resource, american, americans, environmentalist, environmentalists, selfish, selfishness, worthy, unworthy, pray, prays, praying, prayer, prayers, hope, hopes, over-consume, over-consuming, overconsume, overconsuming, overuse, overusing, guilt, guilty, guilt-inducing
'The only way anyone gets in is on there knees.'