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"If I have to ask permission for every bite, dearest, we'll be mating all day."
Tags:relationship, relationships, consent, consenting consents, feminism, feminists, feminist, #metoo, metoo, me too, mantis, praying mantis, praying mantises, mantises, mating, mate, mates, consensual, permission, reproduction, insect, insects, animal, animals, decapitate, relationship, relationships, death, dying, died
'Do you promise to love her in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until one day she decides to bite off your head and eat you.'
"After we have sex but before I kill you, I'm going to need your help with some shelves."
Tags:praying mantis, praying mantises, manual labor, manual labour, kill, kills, killing, killings, killer, killers, murder, murders, murdering, murderer, murderers, insect, insects, entomology, entomologist, entomologists, married life, marriage, marriages, married lives, useful, techincal, shelving, shelving unit, shelving units, assemble, assembles, assembling, assembly, shelves, build, builds, handyman, handymen
"Whoa! Wrong bar?"
Tags:praying mantis, praying mantises, mantis, mantises, drinking hole, drinking holes, drinker, drinkers, bar, bars, pub, pubs, insect, insects, bug, bugs, wildlife, drinking companion, drinking companions, drinking buddy, drinking buddies, discrimination, prejudice, rough crowd, rough crowds, bar brawl, bar brawls, bar fight, bar fights
"I hope you're not looking for a long-term relationship there, big boy. Because I'm probably gonna eat your head later."
Tags:date, dates, insect, insects, praying mantis, praying mantises, mate, mates, mating, mating behaviour, mating behaviours, mating behavior, mating behaviors, entomology, entomologist, entomologists, long-term relationship, long-term relationships, one night stand, one night stands, bug, bugs, short-term relationship, short-term relationships
"So Dave - did you get lucky? Dave....? Dave...?"
"If you don't mind, before I eat you, I'd like to say prayer for world peace."
"I hate these dating sites. What ever happened to meeting a guy on a shrub, laying a couple hundred eggs, and then biting off his had while he's watching sports center.'
'Dear god, please send flies.'
Tags:ideal man, ideal men, ideal, ideals, perfect, perfection, perfect man, perfect men, praying mantis, praying mantises, mantis, mantises, insect, insects, mate, mates, mating, kill, kills, killing, killer, killers, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, man-eater, man-eaters, man-eating, eat, eats, eating, chew, chews, chewing, animal kingdom
The real reason the female mantis devours the male.
'I'm an atheist.'
'It's a nice day. Why don't you two go out and pray.'
'Haven't they been answered yet?'
"He's handsome. I wonder how he tastes?"
Tags:praying mantis, mantis, praying mantises, mantises, bugs, bug, insects, insect, entomologists, entomology, entomologist, online dating, dating site, dating sites, date, dates, computer dating, internet dating, internet dating site, internet dating sites, blind date, blind dates, single life, anticipation, anticipates, anticipating, first date, first dates, getting to know you
"Okay, don't bite my head off."
Tags:mantis, mantises, praying mantis, praying mantises, mate, mates, mating, mated, bite, bites, biting, head off, don't bite my head off, biting my head off, bites my head off, household chore, household chores, trash duty, trash duties, garbage duty, division of labor, divisions of labor, divisions of labour, divisions of labour, gender difference, gender differences
'Your eating in bed is really getting out of hand.'
'Men! Oh, sure. . . they always want to hook up but they don't want to stick around to be eaten alive afterward. . . am I right, ladies?'
"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"
"Do we have to have sex, can't we just cuddle?"
Tags:pray, prays, praying mantis, praying mantises, mantis, mantises, kill, kills, killer, killers, mate, mates, mating, male, female, love bite, love bites, headless, cuddles, cuddling, snuggle, snuggles, snuggling, preference, preferences, cuddle, relationship, nature, survival, survival of the fittest, laws of nature
'I thought the boss was going to bite my head off for losing the mantis account, but she was more interested in dating me.'
'We have praying mantises. They're good for the garden as long as they don't pray for the spinach.'
'... 'Mow the lawn, Sid or I'll devour you,' she says. 'Do this, or I'll devour you. Do that or I'll devour you'... That's why I play golf, Ernie...'
"Wow, that was great. Was it as great for you too?"
'OK, FINE...we'll invite your sister. You don't have to bite my head off.'