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"Excuse me, sir - do you have a minute to listen to the dream I had last night?"
"And may the Lord in his wisdom see to it that we get our hands on some of that government scratch."
'I enjoyed the deviled ham, the deviled eggs and the devil's food cake, but we need a menu more in tune with our mission.'
"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"
THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.
Tags:television, televisions, television show, television shows, television program, television programs, television programmes, television programmes, tv, tvs, tv show, tv shows, tv program, tv programs, tv programmes, tv programmes, t.v., t.v.s, t.v. show, t.v. shows, t.v. program, t.v. programs, t.v. programme, t.v. programmes, watching t.v., watching tv, watching television, animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, bird, birds, bird owner, bird owners, cage, cages, religion, religious, st. francis of assisi, saint francis of assisi, bible, entertainment, sermon, sermons, sermon to the birds, tele-evangelist, tele-evangelists, tele-evangelism, saint, saints, christianity, catholicism, patron saint, patron saints, patron saint of animals, preaching, preacher, preachers
"It's Al Gore."
Tags:eskimo, eskimos, inuit, indigenous people, canada, alaska, greenland, siberia, igloo, igloos, inuit people, snow, snowy, snowing, cold, freezing, chilly, mountains, al gore, vice president, former vice president, vice presidents, former vice presidents, politics, political leader, political leaders, government, government official, government officials, environment, environmentalist, environmentalists, climate change, global warming, presentation, presentations, preach, preaching, teaching, informing
'And he said, Come unto me, for it's not what you know, but who you know.'
'I imagine you were pretty nervous addressing an army of experts.'
"And the Lord said, 'They shall gradually, so as not to cause unemployment, beat their swords into plowshares.'"
Tags:defense budget, defense budgets, military budget, military budgets, budget cut, budget cuts, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, military industry, military industrial complex, military industrial complexes, unemployment, unemployment rate, unemployment rates, cut, cuts, cutting, cut costs, cuts costs, cutting costs, slash the budget, slashes the budget, slashing the budget, religious right, clergy, clergyman, clergymen, preach, preaches, preaching, bible story, bible stories
'The end is near.'
"O.K., the first rule of Bible Club is: always talk about Bible Club."
Tags:bible, bibles, bible study, bible studies, bible study group, bible study groups, bible group, bible groups, bible club, bible clubs, book club, book clubs, religion, religious, evangelical, evangelicals, evangelicalism, evangelism, christianity, spreading the word, spreading the word of god, preaching, club, clubs, rule, rules, movie, movies, film, films, movie quote, movie quotes, film quote, film quotes
"Good sermon, Reverend, but all that God stuff was pretty far-fetched."
Tags:church, churches, sermon, sermons, preach, preaching, preacher, preachers, priest, priests, reverend, reverends, clergyman, clergymen, pastor, pastors, god, bible, religion, religious, religion problems, non-believer, non-believers, unbeliever, unbelievers, belief, beliefs, atheist, atheism, atheists, far-fetched, fantasy, imagination, imaginary
"Stop me if you've heard this one before."
Tags:religion, religious, religious imagery, pulpit, pulpits, church, churches, religions, preach, preaching, preacher, preachers, preached, pastor, pastors, priest, priests, sermon, sermons, story, long, long and boring, boring, bore, bored, heard this, heard before, repeat, repeated, repetitive, irony, ironic, ironically, sunday, christian, christianity, altar, congregation, communication, communicate, storytelling, skill, skills
"Sorry, I'm preaching again. Why don't we pause for a moment while I pass around the collection plate."
"Are we interested in exploring the healing wisdom of an ancient culture?"
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, religion, religions, religious, god, gods, culture, cultures, sales, salesman, saleswoman, salesperson, door-to-door sales, door to door sales, preach, preaching, hindu, hinduism, hare krishna, ancient
"Have I found Jesus? I didn't know he was missing!!"
"I see you, Jake--but does anyone have a question that's not about carpentry?"
'He only got this job because of who his dad is.'
'Wait a minute Rabbi, I thought you said Judaism wasn't all black and white.'
"Pray only for peace, love, strength and forgiveness. Never, ever spam the Lord."
'I think I can speak for the Bishop, when I say...'
"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."
Tags:religion, religious, sermon, sermons, reading, preach, preaching, preacher, preachers, minister, ministers, reverend, reverends, priest, priests, clergyman, clergymen, bible, genesis, old testament, creation, creation story, on the seventh day, lord, god, modern life, problem, problems, created, church, churches
"Is writing in 'wait for laughter' necessary?"
'I know you haven't seen me.. your last sermon was so good, it lasted me an entire year!'
Heaven's Ingredients: 100% Natural Love, 100% compassion and 100% forgiveness.