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'Man! With its ever-rising value, you have enough gold in your mouth to ensure a great retirement...of course without teeth!
'With the latest gold prices I think your medals are worth more than mine.'
Royal Mint Update - we have found missing gold and seem to have twice as much as before!
"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"
'Boy, is Mom going to be happy when she hears we melted down her gold cards and got $950 an ounce for them!'
'This is Mr Rumpelstiltskin. His people are on that 'Straw to gold' project.'
Scientists attempting to prove that every cloud has a silver lining.
"I decided to invest in precious metals - I bought a new car."
How to find gold.
"Let's get to work, there's gold in them there hills."
'Yes sir, both your precious metal and heavy metal investments are doing well.'
'Do Katie's braces count as 'precious metals'?'
'Your father thinks the next investment grade metal will be aluminium so he's collecting foil.'
'I wonder why goldfish are gold.'
'All the gold that's ever been mined would make a cube 68 feet on a side, but that doesn't include rapper teeth, in which case it's 150.'
Investment Firm - Stocks and Bonds/Commodities/Precious Metals.
'In other news, gold is headed higher, according to some fool who's put every last dollar into gold stocks and futures.'