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"You know I'm not a telemarketer, Jimmy, and you are not going to fine me eleven thousand dollars. Now, for the last time, put your mother on."
"I'm sorry, but I'm morally and politically opposed to hangman."
"I need to talk to you about your parenting style."
"Come pick me up. This is going nowhere,"
"I don't see how pulling out a piece of fruit from a pie necessarily validates Jack Horner's self-worth."
"Hate the screw-up, love the perp."
"I still don't have all the answers, but I'm beginning to ask the right questions."
"No time for cocoa, Mom. Getting my life plan started early by checking out colleges, courses offered and scholarships available."
"Please don't be offended if I consult additional sources of information."
'No prince meets princess, prince saves princess and they live happily ever after again. Read me something about mutual funds and IRAs.'
"We're waiting on forensic testing, but we think he may be an alien."
"When I grow up...I'm gonna spend a lot of time playing like a kid."
Gracie goes over to the college recruitment tent at a carnival.
'There I am on my third birthday. Just as precocious as ever.'
"He self identifies as old."
"A lullaby? Don't you know any tunes from Hamilton?"
"You're just gaming down there? Shouldn't you be issuing your first IPO for some billion dollar internet enterprise you've created?"