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"The voice pattern is similar to Dad's."
"Say, Pop, do you realize the average child spends approximately fifteen dollars a year on candy?"
"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."
"Humor should be employed to defuse tension, not create it."
"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."
"You know, statistically speaking, at least one of these gingerbread men is gay."
"If you don't hurry up, you're never going to be the first openly gay anything."
'No prince meets princess, prince saves princess and they live happily ever after again. Read me something about mutual funds and IRAs.'