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'Four months I've been in here and I'm yet to see a tenancy agreement.'
'One baby, one placenta, one umbilical cord...stock-taking never takes long in here.'
'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'
'I'll bet my luggage ends up at another hospital.'
Please queue here for contraction service.
'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'
Ultrasound: Mozart piped into the womb.
"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."