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'Since we couldn't afford health care insurance, we induced labor in our car so our auto insurance would cover any maternity costs.'
'What's the point of insurance if you don't use it?'
'We deny most claims, but that's how we keep your premiums so low.'
'Honesty is the best policy, but the Dishonesty policy has lower premiums.'
"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."
Nellie resolves to find a new insurance company.
"They're offering special premiums if we use their service."
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'Your suspicious nature is going to cost you an extra fifty dollars a month.' - ACME Insurance Co.
Car insurance company offering 'extra low premiums for people without a car'.
Do you cover broken noses...
"It's a card from your insurance company. It says, get well quickly or we'll raise your premiums."
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'Resuscitation is available if you pass out from the bill.'
Tags:hospital, hospitals, hospital bill, hospital bills, hospital billing, resuscitate, resuscitation, resusciates, high cost, high costs, out of pocket, out of pocket cost, out of pocket costs, out of pocket fee, out of pocket fees, pass out, passing out, medical bill, medical bills, medical fee, medical fees, premium, premiums, insurance premium, insurance premiums
"This one also has high copays and high deductibles, but you get unlimited Get Well cards."
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"Is there a health insurance plan that covers the pre-existing condition of not being able to pay for one?"
"Why is dental insurance so high when we have so few teeth?"
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'Switched to GEICO and paid more money.'
'Honesty is the best policy. It's also our most expensive.'
'Your cholesterol numbers are a bit high for your health insurance premium rates.'
'This policy has one exclusion - no payoff if civilization is destroyed by terrorism. However, in that event, all your premiums would be refunded.'
"I'm sorry, but now the healthcare plan demands that you run a marathon.
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Because the company does not offer employees a healthcare plan, we try to boost their compensation in other ways."
"I can't carry this much cash for premiums without bringing security."
"I'm prepared to cover any out-of-pocket costs, Dr. Williter."
"I hope you realise this is going to raise our auto insurance premium!"
The cost of prescription drugs.