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'My prescription: digital textbooks.'
'Take one of these twice a day wrapped in a piece of cheese.'
Tags:dog, dogs, canine, canines, med, meds, medication, medications, pill, pills, pharmacy, pharmacies, pharmacist, pharmacists, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, prescribe, prescribes, prescribed, prescribing, prescription, prescriptions, instruct, instructs, instructing, instructed, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
Take one Per Day as Affordable.
"Of course you feel great. These things are loaded with antidepressants."
Tags:monsters, monster, beast, beasts, dragons, dragon, dinosaur, dinosaurs, carnivores, carnivore, man-eater, man-eaters, invasion, invaded, invade, destroy, destroyed, snack, snacks, food, foods, medicine, medicines, medication, medications, medical, prescription, prescriptions, antidepressants, antidepressant, mental health, mental illness, depression, anxiety, stress, over medicate, doctor, doctors, drug, drugged, pharmaceutical, overmedicate, overmedicates, overmedicating, overmedication, over-medicates, over-medicating, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, prescription, prescriptions
'Here is the mood elevating medication that your doctor prescribed. The less costly generic version is called chocolate.'
"You have a lot of boring health issues, so I'm prescribing medical marijuana for myself."
Tags:doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, patient, patients, doctors office, doctors offices, medical, medical center, medical centers, medical centre, medical centres, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, drug, marijuana, mary j, ganja, pot, weed, hash, hashish, hemp, smoke, smoking, joint, blunt, bong, medicinal, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, stress, stressed out, legalized, legalised, legalisation, legalization, health issue, bore, bored, boring
'Your problem is keeping things down. I want you to take this one pill four times a day.'
Tags:doctor, doctors, patient, patients, problem, problems, pill, pills, med, meds, medication, medications, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribes, diagnose, diagnoses, diagnosis, digest, digests, digestion, digestive system, sick, sickness, vomit, vomits, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'I'm writing you a prescription. Do you want a longer life with less quality or vice versa?'
'For the elevated blood pressure, exercise and cut down on salt. For the rash, exercise and cut down on salt. For the headaches, exercise and cut down on salt.'
Feel better and Feel less medicine.
'I'm bored. Want to see whose medications have more side effects?'
'Try these relaxation methods. If they don't work, I'll prescribe a tranquilizer dart.'
'I use catnip, too, but only for medical purposes.'
'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'
'The pills I prescribed for dementia are causing a rash. Which would you rather have?'
'I hurt my hand playing racketball, so you may find this prescription to be surprisingly legible.'
"It used to be enough to just stop. Now I need to stop and take an aspirin."
Tags:headache, headaches, cure, cures, curing, remedy, remedies, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, stop, stops, stopping, hammer, hammers, bump, bumps, bumping, checkup, checkups, doctor, doctors, family doctor, family doctors, paracetamol, acetaminophen, ibuprofen, tablet, tablets, pill, pills, pill popper, pill poppers, pill popping
'The pound of cure is available as a generic but the ounce of prevention is by prescription only.'
"Don't worry. I wouldn't prescribe anything I haven't tested on myself."
Tags:doctor, doctors, medicine, medicines, medic, medics, prescribe, prescribes, prescription, drug, animal, animal testing, rat, rats, test, tests, testing, animal research, in vivo, in vivo testing, unethical, animal rights, bedside manner, doctors appointment, doctors surgery, medical malpractice, reassure, reassures, reassuring, untrustworthy, sceptic, sceptical, experiment, experimentation, illness, illnesses, patient, patients
'It says not to use heavy machinery when taking these. What's heavy machinery?'
"I must confess I've never seen such an unfortunate side reaction to penicillin."
Tags:penicillin, reaction, reactions, side effect, side effects, averse reaction, averse reactions, symptom, symptoms, bad reaction, bad reactions, transform, transforms, transforming, doctor, doctors, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, antibiotics, sensitive, sensitivity, frog, frogs, transformation, curse, curses, fairy tale, fairy tales, prince, princes
Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary
Tags:marijuana, pot, medical marijuana, legalize, legalizes, legalizing, legalization, legalise, legalises, legalisation, legal, legality, dispensary, dispensaries, mary jane, ganja, cannabis use, cannabis user, cannabis users, dispensation, munchies, get the munchies, entrepreneur, entrepreneurs, recreational, recreational use, snack, snacks, snack food, snack foods, business idea, business ideas, make money, makes money, making money, moneymaking, synergy, corporate synergy, symbiotic, symbiosis, drug, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, appetite
'This is only a placebo, but trust me, it works!'
'Sure, side effects may include death, but live or die, it WILL stop the itching.'
"These pills will cure your O.C.D., but first I wonder if you could organize my shelves."
Tags:pill, pills, tablet, tablets, medicine, medicines, doctor, doctors, prescribe, prescribes, prescription, prescriptions, prescribed, ocd, obsessive compulsive, obsessive compulsive disorder, tidy, tidying, tidied, organize, organized, organise, organise, selfish, selfishly, bedside manner, bad manners, inconsiderate, psych, psychiatrist, psychiatric, therapy, therapist, therapies, parody, parodied, over the counter, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals