Search by Search ID or Tag or use the Advanced Search
'Take one of these twice a day wrapped in a piece of cheese.'
Tags:dog, dogs, canine, canines, med, meds, medication, medications, pill, pills, pharmacy, pharmacies, pharmacist, pharmacists, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, prescribe, prescribes, prescribed, prescribing, prescription, prescriptions, instruct, instructs, instructing, instructed, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'It's true that the flavanoids in chocolate can help reduce platelet activation and influence the balance of eicosanoids...but that is not a justification for me to prescribe you a daily dose of 'choco' mini eggs.'
"I'm putting you on a stronger placebo."
"Your present state is caused by a hypersensitivity to existentialist thought. I'm recommending mega-doses of pragmatism as a therapeutic counteractive."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, philosophy, doctor of philosophy, doctorate, doctorates, hypersensitivity, hypersensitive, existentialism, existentialist, existentialists, pragmatism, therapy, counteractive, therapeutic, prescription, prescriptions, prescribing, dose, doses, philosopher, philosophers, psychology, health
"Of course you feel great. These things are loaded with antidepressants."
Tags:monsters, monster, beast, beasts, dragons, dragon, dinosaur, dinosaurs, carnivores, carnivore, man-eater, man-eaters, invasion, invaded, invade, destroy, destroyed, snack, snacks, food, foods, medicine, medicines, medication, medications, medical, prescription, prescriptions, antidepressants, antidepressant, mental health, mental illness, depression, anxiety, stress, over medicate, doctor, doctors, drug, drugged, pharmaceutical, overmedicate, overmedicates, overmedicating, overmedication, over-medicates, over-medicating, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, prescription, prescriptions
'Your glaucoma will never improve this way, Buzzy.'
"If these don't make you feel better in a week you can come back here and kick my arse."
"You have a lot of boring health issues, so I'm prescribing medical marijuana for myself."
Tags:doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, patient, patients, doctors office, doctors offices, medical, medical center, medical centers, medical centre, medical centres, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, drug, marijuana, mary j, ganja, pot, weed, hash, hashish, hemp, smoke, smoking, joint, blunt, bong, medicinal, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, stress, stressed out, legalized, legalised, legalisation, legalization, health issue, bore, bored, boring
"I'm prescribing an over-the-counter relaxer. Your local wine merchant can fill it for you."
Tags:doctor, doctors, doctors office, doctors offices, doctors surgery, doctors surgeries, prescribing, prescribe, prescription, prescriptions, over the counter, medication, medications, meds, relaxer, relaxers, relaxation, wine, wine lover, wine lover, wine merchant, wine merchants, alcohol, drinking
"Try this – I just bought a hundred shares."
Tags:doctor, doctors, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribing, big pharma, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical company, pharmaceutical companies, pharmaceutical lobby, pharmaceutical lobbies, corruption, corrupt, patient, patients, doctors office, doctors offices, exam room, exam rooms, shares, bought shares, shareholder, shareholders, vested interest, vested interests
'I'm writing you a prescription. Do you want a longer life with less quality or vice versa?'
'Formerly, 'Regular' and 'Extra-Strength'.'
'My dealer keeps asking me these stupid questions!'
'I'm bored. Want to see whose medications have more side effects?'
"You may believe you've been overcharged, but, remember, you're overmedicated."
Tags:over-medicated, medication, medications, medicated, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribed, prescribing, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, gp, gps, md, mds, healthcare, health care, health cover, overmedicated, over medicated, overmedicate, over-medicate, over medicate, drug company, drug companies
'The pills I prescribed for dementia are causing a rash. Which would you rather have?'
'I hurt my hand playing racketball, so you may find this prescription to be surprisingly legible.'
"It used to be enough to just stop. Now I need to stop and take an aspirin."
Tags:headache, headaches, cure, cures, curing, remedy, remedies, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, stop, stops, stopping, hammer, hammers, bump, bumps, bumping, checkup, checkups, doctor, doctors, family doctor, family doctors, paracetamol, acetaminophen, ibuprofen, tablet, tablets, pill, pills, pill popper, pill poppers, pill popping
'The pound of cure is available as a generic but the ounce of prevention is by prescription only.'
"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."
'It says not to use heavy machinery when taking these. What's heavy machinery?'
"Now that you've taken all the drugs that start with 'A' I'd like to start you on the 'Bs'."
'I'm going to prescribe something that works like aspirin but costs much, much more.'
"It has therapeutic value, but I prefer to prescribe it for recreational use."
Tags:doctor, doctors, doctors office, doctors offices, doctors surgery, doctors surgeries, prescription, prescriptions, prescribed, prescribed, prescribing, meds, medication, medications, drug, therapeutic value, recreational drug, recreational drugs, recreational use, recreational use, unprofessional
"I must confess I've never seen such an unfortunate side reaction to penicillin."
Tags:penicillin, reaction, reactions, side effect, side effects, averse reaction, averse reactions, symptom, symptoms, bad reaction, bad reactions, transform, transforms, transforming, doctor, doctors, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, antibiotics, sensitive, sensitivity, frog, frogs, transformation, curse, curses, fairy tale, fairy tales, prince, princes