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'Thanks, kids. . . it's just what Grandpa wanted. . . the new remastered Rolling Stones retrospective.'
"The locket contains a strand of my DNA."
Tags:relationship, relationships, couple, couples, gift, gifts, present, presents, jewellery, jewelry, accessory, accessories, necklace, necklaces, locket, lockets, hair, strand, strands, dna, deoxyribonucleic acid, science, genetics, biology, modern romance, modern couple, modern couples, technology, intimate, personal, personalised, personalized
"For our paper anniversary, he's going to assume my share of the national debt."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, old age, old people, ageing, aging, debt, in debt, paper anniversary, first year of marriage, anniversary, anniversaries, gift, gifts, present, presents, national debt
Letter to Santa, 'Dear Santa, Some Assembly Required. Timmy'
"I'll give you a hint - it's sold only on TV."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, birthday, birthdays, happy birthday, gift, gifts, present, presents, wrapped, surprise, surprises, hint, hints, gift box, gift boxes, shopping, sold, television, televisions, tv, tvs, t.v., t.v.s, questionable, suspicious, infomercial, infomercials, commercial, commercials, product, products, as seen on tv, celebration, celebrations
'Well, don't just stand there Tommy! Open it up and see what's inside!'
The Wunderkind At Work
Tags:wunderkind, child prodigy, child prodigies, butter up, butters up, buttering up, parent, parents, ask, asks, asking, practice, practices, practicing, practise, practises, practising, study, studies, studying, entrepreneur, entrepreneurs, convince, convinces, convincing, first car, first cars, gift, gifts, present, presents
"How much of a gratuity does Santa usually get?"
"I guess this explains why everybody has had to buy their own Christmas presents since we were kids."
"Was I upset when you gave me a full day of beauty?"
Tags:couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, bad relationship, bad relationships, fitness, unfit, exercise, exercising, exercise machine, exercise machine, insult, insults, overweight, over-weight, criticism, criticising, gift, gifts, christmas, christmas time, christmas gift, christmas gifts, present, presents, christmas presents, christmas present
"Soon, felllas, soon."
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, santas sleigh, reindeer, christmas, christmas present, christmas presents, cuba, communism, communist, communists, capitalism, capitalist, capitalists, present, presents, gift, gifts, materialism, commercialism, materialist, cuban government, banned christmas
'I got you something to save time this Christmas.'
Tags:christmas, christmases, xmas, xmases, present, presents, gift, gifts, save time, saves time, time saver, time savers, christmas light, christmas lights, tangle, tangles, tangled, tangling, wire, wires, mess, messes, messy, decoration, decorations, decorated, decorating, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
December 26th . . . The Returns
Tags:christmas, xmas, noel, yule, santa claus, santa, elf, father christmas, st. nick, st. nicholas, elves, north pole, december, december 26th, december 26, the day after christmas, boxing day, return, returns, returning, exchange, exchanges, unwanted gifts, unwanted presents, gift, gifts, present, presents, shopping, christmas chopping, store, stores, shop, shops, sack, sacks, consumerism, santa's helper, santa's helpers
Back to The Present - I
Tags:bored, bore, bores, boring, paper pusher, paper pushers, office drone, office drones, work, works, worker, workers, escapism, escapist, desk, desks, office desk, office desks, blockbuster, blockbusters, summer blockbuster, summer blockbusters, title, titles, job title, job titles, present, presents, middle manager, middle managers, middle management, listless, doldrums, office job, office jobs, white collar job, white collar jobs, dissatisfied, dissatisfaction, summer movie, summer movies
"Oh wow, Countdown to End Times calendar, no, Dean, I don't already have one. Um, Happy New Year to you too."
Tags:calendar, calendars, present, presents, gift, gilfs, bad present, bad presents, bad gift, bad gifts, co-worker, co-workers, colleague, colleagues, weird colleague, weird colleagues, new year, happy new year, new years gift, end times, end of the world, doomsday, doomsdayer, doomsdayers, apocalypse
'That's a nice gift, Bobby, but I asked for SHIP in a bottle.'
'Good news. Even though you've been spending way beyond your means, the IMF is giving you a bailout. It seems you're too big to fail.'
'Happy Valentine's Day! Your gift this year is me!'
'I think when the charity said you could 'buy a goat for Xmas' they meant for the third world.'
"We could always regift it."
"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, holiday, holidays, celebration, celebrations, easter, easter bunny, easter bunnies, santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, saint nick, st. nicholas, saint nicholas, christmas, xmas, yule, noel, judgemental, judging, good, bad, subjective, arbitrary, gift, gifts, present, presents
Magical box of chocolates.
Tags:food, chocolate, chocolates, box of chocolate, box of chocolates, chocolatier, chocolatiers, confectionery, confectioneries, confectioner, confectioners, candy maker, candy makers, candy making, sweets, candy, gift, gifts, present, presents, christmas present, christmas presents, christmas gift, christmas gifts, xmas, christmas, disappearing, disappeared, eating, magic, magical, delicious, tasty, addicting
"It says in lieu of gifts, we should not show up."
Tags:gift, gifts, present, presents, wedding, weddings, wedding day, wedding days, wedding night, wedding nights, wedding gift, wedding gifts, wedding present, wedding presents, wedding invite, wedding invitation, wedding invitations, rude, rudeness, expense, expensive, big wedding, big weddings, wedding ceremony, wedding ceremonies
Dead Man Presents Flat Line At Meeting
Tags:cardiograph, cardiographs, cardiographer, heart beat, beat, beating, heart beat, dead, died, dying, dies, die, death, meeting, meetings, presentation, present, presents, presenting, prentations, profit, profits, chart, charts, graph, graphs, exec, executive, businessmen, businessman, overwork, overworked, over-work, over-worked, over-working, over work, over worked, stress, stressed, work stress, working world, modern, modern life, modern world