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Turkey pardoned by Trump still faces state charges.
"Thank you for calling the White House customer service hotline. Please choose from the following options...
"Hey, new guy. What are you in for?"
By Easter, a pardoned turkey has often lost all sense of right and wrong.
"Ugh, fifth tour this decade. Can't wait 'til my eight years are up."
Trump's boy scout uniform
"The President could have shot James Comey if he wanted to, legally speaking."
'Mr. President, keep in mind that with Thanksgiving fast approaching, you are permitted to give yourself a Presidential Pardon. It doesn't mean however, that you can spend the rest of your term living on a farm in the country.'
"Actually, I was pardoned by the President ... the president of Cartoonists Guild."
'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'
'I'm looking for the 'Congratulations on your Presidential Pardon' cards.'
'Bush wants to pardon Libby and also to pardon himself - in case the investigation extends to the top guy.'
"Are you sure this is the line for pardons?!"
"Apparently, a presidential pardon only goes so far..."