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"Dirk is vegan."
'It's not one of our gods, my wife made it in pottery class!'
"We mean you no harm. We're just here to observe how you primitive people are about to destroy yourselves with nuclear weapons."
'Primitive people drew symbols on paper to communicate, or as grandmom calls it, writing.'
'Did you find us through our website?'
'Latest find in anthropology...primitive tribe discovered living on Scoville Ave.'