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The Princess And The Watermelon
Tags:princess and the pea, the princess and the pea, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairytale, fairy tales, fairy story, fairy stories, watermelon, watermelons, princess, princesses, mattress, mattresses, insomnia, insomniac, restless night, sleepless night, restless nights, restless nights, discomfort, uncomfortable, ache, aching, annoying, annoyance, sore, soreness, hans christian andersen
"How are the Royals doing?"
Tags:royal, royals, royalty, monarch, monarchy, king, kings, queen, queens, prince, princes, princess, princesses, baseball, baseball team, baseball teams, professional sport, professional sports, professional athlete, professional athletes, news, newspaper, newspapers, sport, sports, media, word play, play on words
Tags:dragon, dragons, medieval, knight, knights, princess, princesses, royal, royalty, damsel, damsels, lady, ladies, sword, swords, slay, slay the dragon, slaying the dragon, slaying dragons, castle, castles, rescue, rescuing, damsel in distress, women's empowerment, liberation, female empowerment, strong women, strong woman, empowered women, empowered woman, women's liberation, female liberation, gender equality, don't need a man, prince, princes, relationship, relationships, taking control of your own destiny, like that, learning, learn, teach, teaching, fairytale, fairytales, modern life, modern fairytale, modern fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, modern fairy tale, modern fairy tales, role reversal
"People tend to take the news better when I bring Princess Cupcake."
"Mind if I smoke?"
Tags:gender, genders, gender-neutral, gender spectrum, gender neutral, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy-tale, fairy-tales, retelling, retell, parody, parodied, parodies, rapunzel, hair, female, male, gender identity, beard, beards, facial hair, twist, new twist, fresh, fresh twist, gender stereotypes, gender stereotype, princess, damsel, damsels, damsel in distress, heteronormative, hetero normative, hetero-normative
"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."
Tags:croak, croaks, croaking, frog, frogs, toad, toads, boys night, boys' night, boy's night, boys night out, mate, mates, guy, guys, prince, princes, frog prince, princess, princesses, wife, wives, fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy story, fairy stories, night on the town, married life, happily ever after, drinking buddies, drinking buddy
"I'm having second thoughts about those damn school uniforms."
Tags:education, school, schools, schooling, teaching, teacher, teachers, student, students, uniform, uniforms, royal, royalty, prince, princes, princess, princesses, king, kings, queen, queens, fancy, overkill, elite, elitism, private school, private schools, public school, public schools, second thought, second thoughts, class, social status, kid, kids, child, children, son, sons, daughter, daughters, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, rich, wealth, wealthy
"Why do you have to be such an asshole? The door's open!"
Tags:door, doors, knight, knights, brave knight, brave knights, knight in shining armor, knight in shining armour, balcony, balconies, hard way, hard ways, princess, princesses, rescue, rescues, rescuing, climb, climbs, climbing, prove your love, proving your love, save, saves, savior, saviors, saviour, saviours, ivory tower, ivory towers
"No, it's just that the royal inbreeding makes me look like a frog."
Tags:fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, children's story, children's stories, story, stories, literature, children's literature character, characters, fictional character, fictional characters, the frog prince, brothers grimm, princess, princesses, prince, princes, royal, royals, royalty, animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, frog, frogs, amphibian, amphibians, inbreeding, breeding, lineage, parentage, relative, relatives, related, family, families, family tree, family issues, family problems, ancestor, ancestors, ancestry, science, biology, genetics, genes, history, historical, looks, appearance, personal appearance, facial features, family resemblance
Rapunzel's Short-Lived Relationship With Icarus
"I—I miss my frog wife."
Tags:frog prince, iron henry, brother's grimm, brothers grimm, fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, storybook, storybooks, story, stories, book, books, prince, princes, princess, princess, king, kings, queen, queens, frog, frogs, animal, animals, well, wells, wife, wives, miss, affair, affairs, cheater, cheaters, cheating, relationship, relationships, relationship problems, relationship issues, couple, couples, bigamy, bigamists, bigamist
It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.
"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down twenty-two dollars and thirty-seven cents."
"They're fixing the elevator on Monday."
"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"
Tags:history, historical, medieval, princess, princesses, prince, princes, royal, royalty, demanding, question, questions, questioning, answer, answers, nagging, angry, knight, knights, soldier, soldiers, armor, armour, suit of armor, suit of armour, weapon, weapons, spear, spears, lance, lances, damsel in distress, rescuing, saving, knight in shining armor, knight in shining armour, woman, women, fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, children's story, children's stories, story, stories, literature, children's literature character, characters, fictional character, fictional characters, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, couple, couples, argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts
"Shucks, ma'am, that's what neighbors are for!"
Tags:dragon, dragons, knight, knights, fight, fights, fighting, fighter, fighters, princess, princesses, fairy tale, fairy tales, trope, tropes, modest, modesty, false modesty, gentleman, gentlemen, chivalry, chivalrous, neighbor, neighbors, neighborly, neighbour, neighbours, neighbourly, neighbourhood, neighbourhoods, neighborhood, neighborhoods
Rapunzel Plot Twist
Tags:plot twist, plot twists, fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, german fairy tale, german fairy tales, german fairytale, german fairytales, brothers grimm, princess, princesses, prince, princes, castle, castles, tower, towers, plot twist, plot twists, other woman, the other woman, change of plans
'Since when does the princess have to take orders from the chambermaid?'
"Fear not, my princess – the summer will come again, and, with it, the children gladly return to build us new castles in the sand!"
Tags:beach, beaches, beach holiday, beach holidays, summer, summers, winter, winters, seasons, cycles, holiday town, holiday towns, prince, princes, princess, princesses, royalty, fairytale, fairytales, fairytale princess, castle, castles, sand castle, sand castles, castles in the sand, transience, temporariness, impermanence, ephemerality, optimism, optimist
Princess and the Pea (before revision)
The princess and the pea.
"It makes me feel better about myself."
Tags:woman, women, female, females, housewife, housewives, royal, royalty, crown, crowns, queen, queens, princess, princesses, errand, errands, chore, chores, grocery shopping, food shopping, shopping, self-esteem, confidence, pride, self-respect, confidence boost, confidence booster, confidence boosters, vanity, narcissism, mental health, stereotype, stereotypes