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"I have decided to change your title from Procurement Director to Director of Buying Things."
Biblical Procurement Tales: Project Ark.
'To enable them to provide the service we require the procurement team have submitted a request for seven wands, a crystal ball and a time machine...'
'...so you need us to slow time, break the law and perform three miracles...by next Tuesday. You need to dial extension 101 and ask for the Wizard of Oz!'