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"Are you sure you're not just teaching to the test?"
Tags:teaching to the the test, no child left behind, teacher, teachers, teaching, standardized test, standardized tests, standardized testing, maze, lab rat, lab rats, lab, labs, laboratory, laboratories, lab assistant, lab assistants, lab assistance, mice, mouse, rat, rats, educator, educators, professor, professors, knowledge, learn, learns, learning, learning difficulty, learning difficulties, scientist, scientists
"Daddy works in a magical, faraway land called Academia."
Tags:academia, education, research, academics, academic, educator, educators, teacher, teachers, professor, professors, tutor, tutors, doctor, doctors, doctorate, masters, bachelors, university, universities, college, colleges, uni, pretentious, snob, snobby, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, kid, kids, child, children, childhood, parent, parents, parenthood
A Punch and Judy Professor is visited by Death as a puppet.
"Very well, Carter, you've proven my theory faulty—let it go at that!"
Tags:theory, theories, disprove, disproves, disproving, hypothesis, hypotheses, scientist, scientists, scientific, academic, academics, immature, immaturity, faulty, faulty theory, faulty theories, dunce, dunces, mock, mocks, mocking, mockery, ridicule, ridicules, ridiculing, humiliate, humiliates, humiliating, humiliation, humiliations, public humiliation, mathematician, mathematicians, professor, professors, bad winner, bad winners, competitive, competitiveness, competition, juvenile
"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."
Tags:erlenmeyer flask, erlenmeyer flasks, conical flask, conical flasks, titration flask, titration flasks, laboratory flask, laboratory flasks, half-empty, half-full, glass, outlook, outlooks, positive attitude, positive attitudes, negative attitude, negative attitudes, lab, labs, laboratory, laboratories, experiment, experiments, professor, professors, scientist, scientists, positivity, negative
"Sorry, I had to pull you over, Professor. Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"
Tags:traffic cop, traffic cops, traffic police, police officer, police officers, policeman, policemen, ticket, speeding ticket, speeding tickets, traffic violation, professor, professors, teacher, teacher, lecturer, lecturers, teaching, student, students, going too fast, bad teacher, bad teachers, college, colleges, university, universities
Two Barbarians and a Professor of Barbarian Studies
Tags:professor, professors, barbarian, barbarians, professorship, professorships, anthropologist, anthropologists, anthropology, knight, knights, warmonger, warmongers, warmongering, war-monger, war-mongers, war-mongering, subject matter, academic, academics, observation, observations, barbarian hoard, barbarian hoards
"We're Quietly Confident That It Smells Of Cinnamon"
Tags:science, scientific, vague, theory, theorising, theories, theoretical, oddball, odd ball, scientists, professors, professor, the unknown, lab, labs, laboratory, laboratories, the unknown, unknown, space, astronomy, astronomical, physics, astro, astrophysics, dark matter, deep space, smell, smells, making the best of a bad situation
"That just shows how little you know."
Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton
Tags:new jersey, princeton, professor, professors, delaware, washington, george washington, icon, icons, iconic, cross the delaware, crossing the delaware, founding father, founding fathers, tenure, teacher, teachers, teaching, job offer, job offers, ivy league, faculty member, faculty members, teaching position, teaching positions, phd, phd candidate, phd candidates
"The atoms are burned on the outside but still ice-cold in the middle."
Tags:atom, atoms, science, scientific, scientist, scientists, professor, professors, food, foods, foodie, foodies, food lover, food lovers, microwave, tech, technological, scientific equipment, equipment, machine, machines, machinery, burned, burning, baking, baked, baker, baked, reheating, reheat, reheated, hadron, collider, spoof, spoofs, test, testing, experiment, experiments
Three Scientists Who Discovered Gravity Before Isaac Newton Did
Tags:isaac, isaac newton, newton, newton's, newtonian, physics, physic, science, sciences, science humour, scientific, scientist, scientists, science humor, professor, professors, prof, stem, s t e m, crush, crushed, gravity, gravitational, gravitational waves, discovery, discover, explore, explored, exploration, discovers, experiment, experiments, experimented
Philosophy Department: You are Here...But why?
"I know, but all promises are off when Daddy's writing his grant proposals."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, son, sons, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, academic, academics, professor, professors, grant, grants, grant proposal, grant proposals, research funding, funding, money, investment, investments, entrepreneur, entrepreneurs, non-profit, non-profits, broken promise, broken promises, busy, proposal, proposals, application, applications, applying, finances
Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook
Tags:existentialist, existentialists, existentialism, jean-paul sartre, cynic, cynics, cynical, philosopher, philosophers, french philosophy, french philosopher, french philosophers, phenomenology, phenomenologist, phenomenologists, philosophy teacher, philosophy teachers, professor, professors, free will, recipe, recipes, recipe book, recipe books, cookbook, cookbooks
"I've been reading the trashiest scientific abstract."
Tags:abstract, abstracts, scientific abstracts, journal, journals, peer review, peer reviewed, academic, academics, academia, guilty pleasure, guilty pleasures, trash, trashy, trashiest, scientist, scientists, trash, tabloid, tabloids, paperback, paperbacks, professor, professors, instructor, instructors, teacher, teachers, university, universities, college, colleges
"Of course I get it. E, double hyphen, M, C and little 2 that's a little higher up."
Tags:e=mc2, physics, physicist, physicists, science, scientist, scientists, famous scientist, famous scientists, famous physicist, famous physicists, teacher, teachers, professor, professors, get it, understand, understanding, don't understand, don't get it, equations, scientific equations, scientific equations
'Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.'
"Henceforth I don't want you to start any new projects without consulting Professor Frankfurter or myself!"
Truth or dare at the philosophy dept.'s lounge
Tags:truth or dare, game, games, childrens games, party game, party games, philosophy, philosopher, philosophers, philosophy professor, philosophy professors, philosophy department, philosophy departments, philosophy dept., truth, search for truth, lecturer, lecturers, professor, professors, philosophical, philosophical discussion, philosophical discussions
"I hear we're all getting valentines from Lawrence Summers."
Physicists disputing whether the clock moves backwards or forwards according to season change.
'This isn't a BREAKTHROUGH, Colbert! This is a CIRCULAR REASONING! All you've done here is re-state our original objective.'
"Above all do not open your sealed test booklets until you are told to do so!"
Tags:education, school, schools, schooling, teaching, learning, teacher, teachers, professor, professors, invigilator, invigilators, proctor, proctors, student, students, teacher life, elementary school, primary school, junior high school, middle school, high school, secondary school, test, tests, testing, test booklet, test booklets, exam, exams, examination, examinations, police, police officer, police officers, policeman, policemen, cop, cops, under arrest, arresting, nervous, nerves, anxious, anxiety, scared, fearful, too late, breaking the rules