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"It's the mark of Cain, but it's benign."
Tags:cain, mark of cain, curse, cursed, god, jehovah, genesis, book of genesis, bible story, bible stories, tumor, tumors, tumour, tumours, benign, malignant, diagnose, diagnoses, diagnosing, doctor, doctors, oncology, oncologist, oncologists, prognosis, prognoses, old testament, torah, garden of eden
"This will buy you four months.
Tags:doctor, doctors, shot, shots, injection, injections, drug, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, big pharma, prescription, prescriptions, medical problem, medical problems, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses, booster, booster shot, booster shots, vaccine, vaccines, vaccination, vaccinations, buy time, buys time, buying time, terminal, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, diagnosis, prognosis, prognoses, diagnoses, physician, physicians, comfort, comforting, bedside manner
"There's no known treatment for it, but I can refer you to some great related content."
'It doesn't look good. He's writing a farewell blog.'
"Your prognosis is tied to the outcome of the election."
Tags:prognosis, diagnosis, diagnoses, prognoses, healthcare, obama, barack obama, hillary clinton, john mccain, election, elections, election result, election results, electorate, electorates, vote, votes, stress, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, healthcare, health-care, medical condition, medical conditions, healthcare, health reform, medical reform, healthcare reform, medical insurance, health insurance, obamacare, medical politics, ppaca, affordable care act
"I'm confident he'll pull through. The tests show there is plenty of fight left in him."
'Don't believe everything you read on the net.'
"You're a lucky man - a little bit to the left and you'd be a goner."
"I'm afraid it's two, three months, tops, before you're all pants."
"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."
Tags:doctor, doctors, surgeon, surgeons, doctors office, doctors offices, surgeons office, surgeons offices, consultant, consultants, prognosis, prognoses, diagnosis, diagnoses, search engine, search engine, internet diagnosis, internet diagnoses, search results, medical result, medical results, bedside manner, bedside manners, unprofessional, unprofessionalism, funding cuts, charlatan, charlatans, quack, quacks
'The bad news is there is no cure in sight because no celebrities have your disease.'
"Give it to me straight, Doc. How long do I have to ignore your advice."
Tags:doctor, doctors, doc, medical advice, doctors advice, doctors orders, medical result, medical results, doctors office, doctors offices, ignoring advice, ignore advice, ignored advice, ignoring medical advice, patient, patients, annoying patient, annoying patients, life expectancy, prognoses, prognosis
'I checked our database. Your disease is so rare, there hasn't been a single telathon for it.'
"You are going to wish you had cancelled this appointment."
As soon as we find as place to put this outdated medical equipment, you should be feeling better."
"I worry when my doctor turns out the lights to tell me something scary."
'Are you sure you're telling me everything?'
"The sarcasm on these get-well cards can't do you any good."
"Swash, yes, but your buckling days are over."
Tags:swashbuckling, swashbuckle, pirates, pirate, medicine, medicines, prescription, prescriptions, prognosis, prognoses, disabled, disability, disabilities, hospitals, hospital, doctors, doctor, diagnosis, diagnoses, getting old, getting older, ageing, age, aging, restriction, restrictions, restricted, mobility
"I can't say exactly how much time you have, but if you were to join the 'Book of the month club' now, you'd wind up way ahead."
Tags:doctor, doctors, prognoses, prognosis, bad news, diagnosis, diagnoses, patient, patients, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, illness, sick, sickness, book club, book clubs, book, books, reader, readers, reading, bedside manner, bedside manners, bad bedside manner, bad bedside manners, death, dying
"A new kidney is no problem. Do you want to buy or lease?"
Tags:kidney transplant, kidney transplants, kidney, kidneys, prognosis, prognoses, doctor, doctors, doctors office, doctors offices, health care, healthcare, health care costs, health care expenses, medical expenses, medical bill, medical bills, doctors bill, doctors bills, privatised healthcare, privatized healthcare, commercialisation, commercialization, buy, buying, lease, leasing
"… And, if you desire, I can participate in a doctor-assisted bankruptcy."
Tags:doctor, doctors, doctors office, doctors offices, patient, patients, bad news, prognosis, prognoses, bad prognosis, medical assisted suicide, health care, healthcare, health care costs, health care expenses, medical expenses, medical bill, medical bills, doctors bill, doctors bills, bankruptcy, bankrupt, doctor-assisted
'Funny you should say that...'
'Don't worry, with the proper set of sticks, you can beat this.'
'It's worse than we first thought. She even stopped lying about her age.'