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'Are you sure this photo is of us? It looks like a couple of floating logs to me.'
'He hasn't got a leg to stand on.'
"You've just proven that your job doesn't exist."
'Voila! ... Concussion-proof!'
Tags:american football, football, american, foot ball, nfl, afl, national football league, protective gear, protective, protection, protect, protected, protects, gear, gears, geared, outfit, uniform, clothing, clothes, protective clothing, concussion, concussed, proof, head injury, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'I hate it when we operate on malpractice lawyers.'
Ornithological studies performed by Dr. Worthington proved definitively that 4 out of 5 birds prefer apples to windows.
Tags:experiment, experiments, apple, apples, apple tree, apple trees, orchard, orchards, bird, birds, wild bird, wild birds, naturalist, naturalists, scientist, scientists, observation, observe, observes, proof, evidence, window, windows, birdwatching, bird watcher, bird watchers, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
'I proved that when you start to count your blessings, you find that they're infinite.'
"And were you wearing that particular hat on the night of the murder?"
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, legal system, justice system, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, questioning, evidence, proof, prosecution, prosecutor, prosecutors, defendant, defendants, defence, defense, hat, hats, sign, signs, i'm going to kill you, kill, killing, killings, killer, killers, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, criminal, criminals, suspect, suspects, accused, threatening, threat, threats
'Sir! That alarm means the security tag is still on your new heart valve. I need to see your receipt.'
'Ms. Peters, hold all calls. I'm busy implementing yet another hastily conceived and unproven education innovation.'
"The cat's been walking around on my desk again."
"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, legal system, justice system, law, laws, legal, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, jury, juries, dna, genetics, genetic testing, evidence, proof, cheering, cheer, cheers, cheerleader, cheerleaders
"I've been told that my check is in the mail. Could you verify that for me?"
Tags:post, mail, letter, letters, postman, postmen, postal worker, postal workers, post office, post offices, cheque, cheques, check, checks, money, finances, verification, check, double check, tracking, proof, evidence, scam, scams, scammer, scammers, customer, customers, customer request, customer requests, excuse, excuses, common excuse, common excuses
"Oh yeah? Well I happen to be quoting from either 'Time' or 'Newsweek.'"
"I believe the doughnuts were planted in my squad car in an effort to discredit me."
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, legal system, justice system, law, laws, legal, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, witness, witnesses, witness stand, questioning, police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, donut, donuts, doughnut, doughnuts, planted, framed, evidence, proof, squad car, squad cars, police car, police cars, police cruiser, police cruisers, discredit, stereotype, stereotypes
'Eileen, it says on your resume that you are good at multi-tasking. Can you elaborate on that for me?
"What do you mean you 'know someone's been here'?"
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts, infidelity, cheater, cheaters, extramarital affairs, affair, affairs, knife, knives, knife-throwing, knife-thrower, knife-throwers, knife throwing, knife thrower, knife throwers, outline, outlines, wall, walls, dagger, daggers, stuck, obvious, evidence, proof, trick, tricks, circus, performer, performers, magic, magician, magicians
"You really took Muffy and Scott and Todd down to the lake and let them go...honest? Have you got a note or something from them so I could be sure?"
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, cat, cats, cat owner, cat owners, fish, fishbowl, fishbowls, goldfish, fish bowl, fish bowls, lake, free, freedom, let go, honesty, truth, lies, lying, liar, liars, trick, tricks, trickster, tricksters, scam, scams, scammer, scammers, con artist, con artists, con, cons, dishonest, note, notes, letter, letters, proof, evidence
"Quit worrying about corroborating your sources - it's not as if anyone's going to take all this literally."
Tags:sarcasm, sarcastic, religion, religions, religious, jesus, jesus christ, bible, scripture, scriptures, desert, deserts, religious fanatics, bible belt, scroll, scrolls, god, no evidence, no support, documentation, proof, no proof, evidence, verify, verification, interpret, interpretations, extremist, extremists, extremism
"I've already put the evidence in a tidy little bag for you."
Tags:police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, detective, detectives, police detective, police detectives, investigation, investigations, police investigation, police investigations, evidence, proof, crime scene, crime scenes, forensics, scene of the crime, murder, murders, homicide, death, corpse, corpses, body, bodies, dead body, dead bodies, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts, tidy, neat, bag, bags, clean, criminal, criminals, murderer, murderers, helpful
'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'
"Unicorns do exist!"
Tags:unicorn, unicorns, unicorn horn, unicorn horns, rare, legendary, magical, mythical, creature, creatures, exist, proof, evidence, hunter, hunter, hunt, hunting, gun, guns, firearm, firearms, rifle, rifles, hunting rifle, hunting rifles, shooter, shooters, shoot, kill, killed, trophy, trophies, horn, horns, animal, animals, game, game hunter, game hunters, game hunting, safari, extinct, extinction, last unicorn, endangered, endangered species, destruction, environmental destruction, poaching, poach
'Once again, there is no conclusive evidence of climate change. From Fairbanks, Alaska, this is Joe Matthews reporting.'
"Look, the numbers don't lie."