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"You're lucky that painting was of a horse."
Tags:art collection, art collections, art collector, art collectors, painting, paintings, horse, horses, horse riders, horse riders, horse riding, jockey, jockeys, gallery, galleries, art gallery, art galleries, damage, damage, crash, crashes, crashes, accident, accidents, destroy, destroyed, museum, museum, art museum, art museums, curator, curators, museum curator, museum curators, equestrian sport, equestrian sports, property damage, insurance, insured, insurance policy, insurance policies, insured property, insured properties, property insurance, art insurance
'Does this policy cover heartburn?'
'Your policy doesn't cover you against huffing and puffing.'
"Did the three pigs have enough insurance to rebuild their home?"
'Why's it so cheap?' - 'Some wild rumour about a fault line.'
"Here's my card. I'm an insurance agent too."
"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."
"....rather than spend millions on a potentially fruitless effort to avoid flooding we've decided to focus on public safety!"
"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."
Tags:insurance, home insurance, property insurance, insurance policy, insurance salesmen, insurance salesman, insure, salesman, company, homeowners, animals, animal, birds, bird, nests, nest, nesting, limb, limbs, tree, trees, house, home, business, sales, limbless, habitat, home insurance, habitation, pun, puns, word play, loss of habitat, deforestation, deforesting
'First of all, it's a 'limb' and I need it for insurance company to show the magnitude of ice storm damage.'
'Hello, I'd like to apply for some property insurance.'
'I lie a lot. Do you have any 'Pants On Fire' insurance?'
'So your Lordship, this burglar you caught - where is he now?'
'Sorry boys, we can't help you...your policy covers beanstalks, wicked old witches and jolly green giants - but not big bad wolves.'
'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'
"By the way, how's that lawsuit against the home insurance company going?"
"Business really improves when they play a disaster movie."
'Mr. Dumont, I'm sure you can understand our reluctance to sell flood insurance to anyone who says they're from a town called 'High River'.'
Tags:flood plain, flood plains, flood risk, flood risks, flooding, natural disaster, natural disasters, bad weather, property viewing, property viewings, river, rivers, waterfront property, extreme weather, real estate, home insurance, property insurance, flood insurance, bad investment, bad investments
"Sorry, but you didn't purchase the extended warranty that covered Hebrews."
Tags:hebrew, hebrews, bible story, bible stories, torah story, torah stories, jericho, walls of jericho, insurance policy, insurance policies, insurance cover, battle of jericho, book of joshua, canaan, israelite, israelites, old testament, sunday school, property insurance, torah, torahs, bible, bibles
'I'll take you to my leader... right after I take you to my insurance agent.'
'Well, stop watching him if it makes you stress over flood insurance.'
'This looks like a great deal of wind damage!'
"I'm afraid your homeowner's policy doesn't cover your house being blown down."
'Well it is listed but that's mainly down to the local fracking.'
Tags:hydraulic fracturing, hydrofracturing, hydrofracking, fracking, fraccing, subsidence, gas and oil exploration, energy, housing market, listed buildings, listed property, historic property, historic buildings, estate agent, estate agents, listing, estate agents, buying and selling property, building insurance, property insurance, house viewings, property viewings