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'Well...let's just say that, on a very local level, you were right.'
How Human Nature Works: 'Ok...Now I'm worried.'
" 'Mene, mene, tekel, upharsin'? What kind of cookie is this?"
Tags:fortune cookie, fortune cookies, babylon, babylonian, king, kings, mene mene tekel upharsin, prophecy, prophecies, omen, omens, warning, warnings, warning from god, warnings from god, chinese restaurant, chinese restaurant, rich, riches, blasphemy, blasphemer, blasphemous, fortune, fortunes, prediction, predictions, curse, curses, old testament, torah, belshazzar's feast, writing on the wall, daniel, arrogant, arrogance, businessman, businessmen, business man, business men, cookie, cookies, dessert, desserts, humility, humble, humbles, god, jehovah
"I'm going to need to speak to someone from either personnel or maintenance."
"Beware the Ides of March." "Dude, it's April."
"Verily I say unto you that the wife is good, but the mother-in-law..."
"No, a question period will not follow!"
Tags:sermon, sermons, jesus, sermon on the mount, preacher, preachers, minister, ministers, ministry, prophet, prophets, prophecy, prophecies, worship, worships, question session, questions sessions, q&a, q & a, question and answer session, question, questions, theology, theologian, theologians, religious debate, religious debates, religious belief, religious beliefs
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, chinese restaurant, chinese restaurants, food, chinese food, chinese cuisine, meal, meals, eating, dining, eating out, dining out, fortune cookie, fortune cookies, fortune, fortunes, misfortune, luck, bad luck, paper fortune, paper fortunes, future, prediction, predictions, prophecy, prophecies, pessimistic, dire, dark, death, fortunetelling, fortune-telling, threat, threats, threatening, foreboding, superstition
"Use a five iron!"
'Aha! The fine print says, 'or in five million years'!'
While dreaming, Beethoven sees the future and loses hope,
Fortune teller singes man's forehead.
Tags:magic, fortune teller, fortune tellers, seer, seers, magnification, fire, fires, magic power, magic powers, soothsayer, soothsayers, superstition, visual joke, visual jokes, visual gag, visual gags, convex lens, convex lenses, light concentration, crystal ball, crystal balls, self fulfilling prophecy, prophecy, prophecies
The End Is Near.
'The world ends tomorrow. Eat up!'
The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.
"It says, 'There are people waiting for your table.' "
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, eating out, dining out, chinese restaurant, chinese restaurants, chinese food, food, meal, meals, dining, eating, fortune cookie, fortune cookies, fortune, fortunes, paper fortune, paper fortunes, wait, waiting, table, tables, taking up space, table hog, table hogs, table hogging, overstaying your welcome, slow eater, slow eaters, rude, rude customer, rude customers, long wait, future, prophecy, prophecies, prediction, predictions, accurate
"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"
Tags:moses, burning bush, burning bushes, miracle, miracles, bible, bible story, bible stories, torah, prophet, prophets, prophecy, prophecies, drama queen, drama queens, dramatic, dramatics, gesture, gestures, showy, overly dramatic, lord, god, god the father, over-the-top, showy, show-off, show-offs
A turkey on a turkey farm holding a sign saying "The world will end Nov. 27".
Tags:thanksgiving, thanksgiving day, thanksgiving dinner, thanksgiving dinners, thanksgiving meal, thanksgiving meals, thanksgiving turkey, thanksgiving turkeys, thanksgiving holidays, animal, animals, bird, birds, turkey, turkeys, turkey farm, turkey farms, november 27th, november 27, sign, signs, warn, warning, warnings, the world will end, end of the world, the end is near, world's end, conspiracy theorist, conspiracy theorists, conspiracy theory, conspiracy theories, religion, religious, death, prophet, prophets, prediction, predictions, prophecy, prophecies, slaughter, murder, killing, problem, problems
"It says, 'Someday you will die.'"
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, chinese restaurant, chinese restaurants, food, meal, meals, eating, dining, chinese food, eating out, dining out, end of the meal, fortune cookie, fortune cookies, fortune, fortunes, luck, paper fortune, paper fortunes, reading fortunes, future, prediction, predictions, prophecy, prophecies, accurate, realistic, bad luck, pessimistic, dire, dark, death, die, fortunetelling, fortune-telling
"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"
Tags:snack, snacks, snack food, snack foods, moreish, more-ish, scarf, scarfing, scarfs, cookie, cookies, biscuit, biscuits, amaretto, chocolate, chocoholic, chocoholics, sword in the stone, king arthur, merlin, overeat, overeats, overeating, eat, eats, eating, double chocolate, binge, binge eating, binge eat, king of england, prophecy, prophecies
'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'
"Hang on Gary, I think our Tracy's having an Epiphany!"
"Go and spread the Gospel. Hide it in colorful, little eggs for the world to find and be delighted by."
Tags:egg, eggs, easter, easter egg, easter eggs, easter bunny, easter bunnies, rabbit, rabbits, jesus, christ, resurrection, prophecy, prophecies, cognitive dissonance, tradition, traditions, celebration, celebrations, secular, secularization, secularisation, holiday, holidays, christian, christians, christianity, religious, sermon, sermons, sermon on the mount, sermons on the mount
"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."
Tags:modern times, modern attitudes, modern life, modern technology, fortune-teller, fortune-tellers, fortune teller, fortune tellers, social media, social networking, social network, social networks, online messaging, online messages, on-line messaging, on-line messages, favourite, favourited, favouriting, favorite, favorited, favoriting, crystal ball, crystal balls, prophecy, prophecies, mentioned in a post, spiritual, spirituality, divination, prediction
The End is Near.