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With a sickening jolt, Mel realized the awful truth: he was being defended by a pair of court-appointed light-weights, against the sharpest prosecutors in the county.
"Objection, Your Honor! The prosecution is combining dog years and people years in a callous and deliberate attempt to confuse the witness."
"This is the murder weapon the defendant used, your honor, and these are the tunes he butchered in cold blood."
"Permission to treat the witness like gum stuck to the bottom of my heels?"
'Foreman of the jury, have you reached a verdict?' 'Yes - prosecuting counsel is a bit of a hunk!'
"You've got any models large enough to...uh...theoretically hold a 250 lb prosecuting attorney and a couple of lying witnesses?"
'I plead 32% not guilty, 41% innocent, and 27% undecided.'
'I had a rogue prosecutor, judge, jury and appellate court.'
'I'll be in the lobby.. looking for someone to sue.'
'Friends, Romans... Special Prosecutors...'
'Both prosecution and defense must submit any unwritten laws in writing.'
'I want a straightforward answer: Did you or did you not willfully claw a flea to death on your left ear?'
'With the court's permission I'd like to demonstrate the means by which I believe the accused administered the fatal poison to his wife...'
'Careful doc - I've been feeling very litigious lately.'
"I'm Bill Posters."
When I left Hobson, Ackroyd & Donkin it perfectly amicable. They said if I leave they wouldn't prosecute and I agreed.
"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."