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"Could we skip the prosecution and get on to the sentencing phase?"
"He's been trained in guard duty, attack, and litigation."
Clyde Shwinkle: Best dang dog attorney... Ever!
Tags:dog, dogs, canine, canines, court, courts, attorney, attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, solicitor, solicitors, defendant, defendants, prosecution, prosecutions, claim, claims, claimed, claiming, claimant, claimants, accuse, accuses, accusing, accused, accusation, accusations, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"How did this case ever get so far?"
"Objection, Your Honor! The prosecution is combining dog years and people years in a callous and deliberate attempt to confuse the witness."
Tags:objection, objections, prosecution, prosecutions, dog years, prosecutor, prosecutors, prosecuting, confusion, create confusion, creating confusion, confuse, witness, witnesses, attorney, attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, obfuscate, obfuscates, obfuscating, obfuscation, stonewall, stonewalls, stonewalling, measure of time, measures of time
'We find the defense and prosecution arguments totally confusing without a doubt.'
'"I'll admit it looks strange, but that Mr. Ed turned out to be one tough prosecutor!"
Tags:legal, legality, judiciary, law, courts, court, courtroom, judge, defendant, prosecutor, defense, prosecution, prosecutor, prosecutors, prosecutions, equestrians, horse, horses, equestrian, professional, lawyer, jury, swung the jury, impressed, impressive, expectation, exceeded expectations, convinced, earned his keep, anthropomorphism, anthropomorphised, anthropomorphized, anthropomorphize, absurd, no horsing around, horsing around
'Through no fault of my own, I have a tendency to shade the truth.'
"Our legal department assured me it was rarely prosecuted."
"It was merely a few warning shots to get the witness's attention, your honor!"
Tags:cowboy, cowboys, court, courts, trial, trials, courtroom, courtrooms, cowboy court, cowboy courts, western, westerns, warning shot, warning shots, prosecution, prosecutions, defence, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, firearm, firearms, bullet, bullets, justice system, legal system, legal systems, justice systems
"My client alleges attempted hit, run and bbq."
Tags:plaintiff, plaintiffs, hit and run, hit & run, hit and runs, hit & runs, venison, deer, bbq, bbqs, barbecue, barbecues, barbeque, barbeques, legal, elgals, lawyer, lawyers, legal representative, legal representatives, court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, prosecution, prosecutions, prosecutor, prosecutors, criminal offence, criminal offences, roadkill, bloodsports, hunter, hunters, hunt, hunts, deer season, venison steak
"Objection, your honor! The prosecution is executing a move that is not sanctioned by the professional wrestling association."
Tags:professional wrestling association, wrestler, wrestlers, wrestling, wrestle, wrestles, wrestled, judge, judges, courtroom, courtrooms, witness stand, witness stands, prosecution, prosecutions, prosecutor, prosecutors, wrestling rule, wrestling rules, witness intimidation, court, courts, trial, trials
'I intend to prove that on June 13th, when the gate was left wide open, the defendant utterly failed to run loose r dig up the neighbor's rose garden, and furthermore, he actually slept through the incident like a common housecat!'
'Anyone who's troubled by viewing the victim's corpse is free to leave the courtroom at this time.'
'My client may have huffed and he may have puffed, but ladies and gentlemen, he just happens to have a very bad smoker's cough. He did not blow anyone's house down!'
'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'
Lawyer Pranks: 'No, your honor. we have no idea why everyone would start leaving the courtroom all at the same time.'
'Your honor, we the jury need to pick up pants at the dry cleaners, eggs and milk at the...oops, wrong note!'
'So it's your testimony that you ARE NOT the crack that my client stepped on causing him to break his back?'
Tags:crack, cracks, health and safety, health & safety, bad back, bad backs, lawsuit, lawsuits, compensation, litigation, litigating, litigations, compensation society, trial, trials, court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, witness, witnesses, courtroom, courtrooms, suspect, suspects, prosecution, prosecutions
'Anyone in this courtroom can see what a master manipulator the witness is! Anyone, that is, but you, your honor!'
"Police are afraid of being prosecuted for making arrests, so be careful out there."
Tags:police, prosecution, prosecutions, prosecuted, arrest, arrests, crime rate, crime rates, crimes, criminal, criminals, policemen, policeman, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, prosecution rates, prosecution rate, civil rights, citizen, citizens, lawsuit, lawsuits, litigation, litigations
'This jury will disregard the donuts and festive decorations provided by the defense.'
'I have faith in our judicial system. That's why I've been on the lam for sixteen years.'
"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it."
Tags:fraud, legality, unequal treatment, unequal punishment, unequal punishments, businessmen, businessman, real estate crisis, real estate crises, stock market crash, stock market crash, punish, corrupt, corruption, systemic corruption, legal, legal system, prosecute, prosecutes, prosecution, prosecutions
"Well, I hope you're satisfied...your opening remarks have hurt the prosecutors feelings."