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'...so all in all doctor, my life has been pretty uneventful, wouldn't you agree? ...Doctor?'
'Whenever I walk in a room,everyone ignores me.'
Psychiatrist taps patient on head and says: 'Have you tried turning it off and turning it on again.'
'I want to make a happy home for my family, but I have a strong need to pursue my career as an actress. What a painful conflict for me. If I only had someone to talk to about this.'
Psychiatrist with a patient who is hiding under the couch.
'I think paranoia is out to get me!'
'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'
'Just so you know, this free association session will be £75 plus VAT.'
'Yeah, they're big... But I'm big.'
Man on psychiatrist's couch: 'It was a cry for help, really - I tried to slash my wrists with rollerblades.'
"When did you first notice that he had the blues?"
'It's my split personality, Doc - my other half is accident prone!'
'-and I've stopped talking to myself-I can't think of anything to say.'
'It's a deal then-I'll waive my fee if you'll do my son's birthay party..'
'-and you hate sleeping alone-well,there's a coincidence!'
Clancy: Dreaming of Being A Dog
"Motherhood is wearing me out!"