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To Serve America. . .
'And the guy running for dog catcher has a superpac!'
"'Article I. Section 9. Claus B. No title of nobility shall be granted by the United States' - we gotta change that."
"It wasn't insider trading. It was free-market capitalism."
'My mom's pregnant. At first I was worried about the competition until I remembered that I was the incumbent.'
'I'd like to respond to that criticism by saying that I'm rubber, and you're glue.'
"This is what keeps good people from seeking public office."
'J. Dudley - 20 years in public office without a single criminal investigation.'
Tags:politics, government, criminal investigation, special investigator, public office, congress, president, white house, probe, congressional committee, corrupt, corruption, rampant, rampant corruption, congressman, congressmen, congressperson, congresspeople, senator, senators, mp, members of parliament, scandal, scandals
"You're xenophobic enough. Have you considered running for public office?"
Tags:xenophobia, xenophobic, xenophobics, xenophobe, xenophobes, public office, politician, politicians, far right, alt right, alt-right, far-right, racism, social problem, social problems, immigration policy, immigration policies, immigration control, immigration controls, border control, border controls
"If you're so steamed, why don't you call the appropriate government agency while they're still in existence?"
'Did you ever throw your hat into the political ring?'
"Our findings suggest you weren't properly vetted, Mister Fetchy. First of all, you're not even a Mister."
'I remember when politicians said 'I feel your pain.' Now it's just 'I feel your disdain.''
Tags:politician, politicians, election, elections, voter, voters, voting, electorate, electorates, disdain, unpopular, unpopularity, popularity, empathy, empathise, empathize, political leader, political leaders, election campaign, elected office, public office, out of touch, congressmen, congressman, senate, senator, senators
'Kemper, you're absolutely dysfunctional. Have you ever considered running for public office?'
'Face it! You're no longer electable.'
'I have decided not to run for re-election, so I can spend more time with my legal defense team.'
'Gee, Dad, all the other candidates are making campaign promises to their kids.'
"An elected official is anyone who knows how to spend my money faster than I do."
'I'm going to be honest about this -- I'm from the Government, and I'm here to bamboozle you.'
'The Senator's afraid he's irked his base. I don't know if he needs political advice or medical attention.'
'Don't waste too much time in Congress, son. You've got a really great future as a lobbyist!'
'He can't understand why, with 672 thousand, 200 friends on facebook, in the state, he didn't get enough votes to win the election.'
'If this family is a democracy, how come I can't run for Father?'
'The hell with hope! Why can't we have a candidate who promises the status quo!'