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'Something's come up that isn't covered in the security guard's handbook.'
"Seriously? You bought me a boa? How silly of you, Henry...no one wears those anymore!"
Tags:boa, boas, boa constrictor, boa constrictors, python, pythons, feather boa, feather boas, miscommunication, miscommunications, homonym, homonyms, formal wear, snake, snakes, herpetologist, herpetologists, reptile, reptile cage, reptile cages, makeup, make-up, lipstick, dress up, dresses up, dressing up, gauche, out-of-date
How to Tell What Your Snake Swallowed
Tags:sia, wig, wigs, pop, pop musician, pop musicians, pop artist, pop artists, popular music, pop music, snake, snakes, swallow, swallows, swallowing, shape, shapes, swallow whole, swallows whole, swallowing whole, telltale sign, telltale signs, giveaway, giveaways, parrot, parrots, pet, pets, carnivore, carnivores, carnivorous, man-eater, man-eaters, man-eating, python, pythons, anaconda, anacondas
'I think I see what the problem is, but I'll send you down for some X-rays just to make sure.'
'Yeah, hi, Bob...when you asked me to pop in and feet Spot, I was kind of under the impression he was a dog!'
Handyman painting in a zoo, He is using a snake as a safety rope.
A big snake swallows Saint Patrick
"No, I get it. At some point, every friend I've ever had needs to take a break from me."
Tags:suffocate, suffocates, suffocating, suffocation, smother, smothers, smothering, break, breaks, take a break, taking a break, friend, friends, friendship, friendships, needy, clingy, neediness, high maintenance, maintain, maintains, maintaining, break up, break ups, breaking up, girlfriend, boyfriend, partner, partners, boa, boas, boa constrictor, boa constrictors, python, pythons, snake, snakes, relationship
"And that would be little Susan."
Tags:snake, snakes, man-eater, man-eating, giant, giants, python, pythons, identify, identifies, identifying, identifying the body, identifying a body, corpse, corpses, eat, eats, eating, eaten, swallow, swallows, swallowing, swallow whole, swallows whole, swallowing whole, swallowed whole, anaconda, anacondas, giant, giants, phobia, phobias, orphidiophobia, fear, fears, lizard, lizards, reptile, reptiles
Happy Birthday, Bimba
Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.
'You know, I could really go for a wafer-thin mint.'
'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'
"The pet shop owner told me it was just a harmless garter snake."
Tags:garter snake, garter snakes, serpent, serpents, snake, snakes, python, pythons, reptile, reptiles, heaven, afterlife, afterlives, after-life, after-lives, angel, angels, paradise, new arrival, cause of death, predator, predators, prey, preys, pet shop, pet shops, pet store, pet stores, exotic pet, exotic pets, dangerous animals
'Keep looking. A 15-foot team mascot doesn't just slither away and vanish.'
Python waiting in Veterinary surgery
"Well, looks like it caught him unaware."
Tags:snake, snakes, serpent, serpents, explorer, explorers, exploring, reptile, reptiles, herpetology, herpetologist, herpetologists, expert, experts, naturalist, naturalists, wild animal, python, pythons, jungle, jungles, wild animal, wild animals, python attack, python attacks, predator, predators, food chain, food chains
"You're always treating me like a baby."
Tags:snakes, treating, treatment, reptiles, pythons, rattle snake, desert, rattlesnake, rattlesnakes, rattler, rattlers, rattle snakes, rattle, rattles, baby, babies, infant, infants, children's toy, children's toys, childrens toy, childrens toys, python, shoddy treatment, infantalize, infantalizing, infantalise, infantalising, condescend, condescends, condescending, condescension
A man who is having his toe pinched by a lobster dreams he is being strangled by a python.
"Typical, I can't see the snake for all this darn foliage!"
'Oh no, how will I be able to Instagram this?'
Amber always kept her python, Howie, in her purse.
"Nope, I'm squeezing as hard as I can, that is one stuck pig."