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'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'
Knowing that her doctorate in bio-physics made her profoundly overqualified for the job, Susan played dumb during the interview.
"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"
Tags:made man, made men, liberal arts, gang, gangs, gangster, gangsters, mafia, mob, mobster, mobsters, liberal arts, liberal arts degree, liberal arts degrees, education, importance of education, college education, college educated, qualification, qualifications, job qualification, job qualifications, qualify, qualified, unqualified, expectations, high expectations, criminal, criminals
"Not to diminish what you've achieved in the last eighteen months of training, but it appears that the javelin roll is not an Olympic sport."
"I forgot to say I was breast-fed."
Tags:breastfeed, breastfeeds, breastfeeding, qualification, qualifications, qualify, qualifies, qualifying, resume, resumes, personnel, personnel department, personnel departments, employment, employment agencies, padding your resume, unqualified, c/v, c/vs, cv, hire, hires, hiring, hiring officer, hiring officers, personnel, personnel department, personnel departments, hr department, hr departments
"I'm sorry... Apparently you don't make enough money to use this loophole!"
"According to these scans, I shouldn't have gone to med school in Aruba."
Tags:doctor, doctors, qualify, qualified, qualification, qualifications, college, colleges, med, med school, school, medical school, university, universities, aruba, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, check up, check ups, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, bad sign, red flag, red flags, bad signs, bad news, bearer of bad news, get well, get well soon, idiot, idiots, incompetent, incompetence
'Let's see if you qualify for a handout. How many nuts do you have currently, and where are they buried?'
'What makes you think your bartender is more qualified than my hairdresser to solve our marital problems?'
"Let's see... talked on cell phone in restaurant."
Tags:heaven, heavens, gate, gates, gates to heaven, angel, angels, dead, death, afterlife, qualify, qualifies, speak, speaks, speaking, spoke, cell phone, cell phones, mobile phone, mobile phones, restaurant, restaurants, public, public setting, rude, selfish, hell, trapdoor, open the trapdoor, date, dates, ignore, ignores, ignoring, ignorant
"That's not how we go about filling a C.E.O. position."
Tags:corporation, corporations, senior position, senior position, job qualification, job qualifications, qualify, qualifies, help wanted sign, help wanted signs, help wanted, boss, bosses, ceo, c.e.o., c.e.o.s employ, employs, employee, employees, hiring, hiring practice, hiring practices, job, jobs, job application, job applications
'You don't qualify for our traditional mortgages. However, you do qualify for our predatory loan program.'
'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'
"I see here on your resume you're my daughter's husband."
Tags:resume, resumes, job, jobs, job hunt, job hunting, job hunts, nepotism, nepotist, nepotists, hire, hires, hired, hiring, interview, interviews, interviewed, interviewing, interviewee, interviewer, qualify, qualification, qualifications, qualified, qualifies, qualify, qualifying, cheat the system, cheats the system, cheated the system, cheating the system, recruitment, recruitments, recruited, recruitment officer, recruitment officers, arrogant, arrogance
"Our standards are so high we only hire people who do crossword puzzles in ink."
Tags:crossword, crosswords, crossword puzzle, crossword puzzles, high standard, high standards, hiring practice, hiring practices, hiring practise, hiring practises, hire, hires, hiring officer, hiring officers, qualification, qualifications, qualify, qualifies, ink, permanent ink, permanent marker, permanent markers
Graduation cap is oversized compared to the number of jobs.
Tags:graduates, college grad, college grads, college degree, college degrees, job, jobs, graduation, available jobs, job market, job markets, bachelor's degree, bachelors degrees, bachelors degree, bachelor's degrees, ba, ma, phd, job availability, employment rate, employment rates, useless degree, useless degrees, qualification, qualifications, qualify, qualifies, job hunt, job hunts
I've only been a doctor for 15 minutes, but, ok, Mrs. Rhinewald, I'm gonna give it to you straight. You've only got 24 hours to live - but then, we're mayflies - we all have only 24 hours to live...
Tags:fly, flies, mayfly, mayflies, may, doctor, doctors, consult, consultations, consults, consultations, diagnosis, diagnose, cry, cries, tear, tears, crying, upset, sad, live, living, life, honest, honesty, truth, truthful, insect, insects, bug, bugs, 24, hours, quick, qualify, qualified, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
"As you can see, I'm a fully qualified sheep dog with first aid and fire warden certificates. I'll take good care of you..."
Tags:sheep dog, sheep dogs, shepherd, shepherds, shepherding dog, shepherding dogs, dog, dogs, sheep, qualification, qualifications, qualify, qualifies, qualifying, first aid, first aid certificate, first aid certificates, fire warden, fire wardens, application, applications, job application, job applications, apply, applies, applying
"Well, this all checks out, when can you start?"
Tags:ridesharing app, rideshare, ride share, rideshares, ride sharing app, dummy, dummies, crash test, crash tests, background check, background checks, job interview, job interviews, qualification, qualifications, qualify, qualifies, qualifying, crash, crashes, accident, accidents, traffic accident, traffic accidents, safety, driver, drivers, driving, cv, unqualified, lax
'The fact that you like Tang really doesn't qualify you to be an astronaut.'
'It's an addition. I qualified for a home improvemnt loan.'
'Due to the new goverment regs, you'll have to fill out these forms to see if you qualify for the businessman's lunch.'
'Yes, you're very qualified for a loan, Mr. Stikes, but what on earth made you think you would get one?'
'One more bad beat and I qualify for the Guinness Book of World Records.'
'Aside from being a jackass, is there anything else that would qualify you for a position in management?'