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'What do you call two fat people having a chat?'
'I've just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.'
'My hand got crushed by a pile of books.'
'What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?'
'What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.'
'What do you call a sheep with no legs?'
'Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.'
'Climb a tree and act like a nut.'
'I started a band called 999 Megabytes - we haven't gotten a gig yet.'
'What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?'
'Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines everywhere!'
'You want to hear a pizza joke? It's pretty cheesy.'
'Why can't a bike stand on its own?'
'I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it's more of a wrap.'
'Do you know how to kill a vegetarian vampire? With a steak to the heart.'
'What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?'
'What's the best part about living in Switzerland?'
'What did the ocean say to the beach?'
'Did you watch the horror movie?'
'I don't think I'll tell you the one about the red hot poker. . .You wouldn't grasp it.'
'His dad was a standup. He's a quip off the old block.'
Tags:hair raising, hair-raising, barber, barbers, barbershop, barbershops, hairstyle, hairstyles, hairdresser, hairdressers, haircut, haircuts, word play, word-play, wordgame, word-game, word game, wordplay, pun, puns, wit, wits, quip, quips, rake, rakes, farmer, farmers, gardener, gardeners, crop, crops