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Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!
"Bye! good luck with the 'stop smoking 'campaign!"
"I'm trying to quit Twitter."
'That's a nicotine patch and the other one is a patch to curb my cravings for nicotine patches.'
"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."
"But, can you help me quit smoking?"
'Those 'light' cigarettes have given you 'light' cancer'
'It turned out that if I gave up smoking, drinking and eating rich food I had a 36% greater risk of dying of boredom.'
'When you put on a new nicotene patch you're supposed to take the old ones off!'
'I quit smoking, but I still get the urge when I stand outside an office building in the freezing cold.'
"You can't find the tobacco display because we replaced it with nicotine patches."
'I'm trying to stop chewing gum.'
"If you put the nicotine patches on his eyes he can't find his cigarettes!"
'That's nothing,,,my pack's got Keith Richard's face on it'
Lighting a pack of Nicotene gum.
'I'm so proud of you sweetie, you haven't smoked for a week!'
'It's a special treat for Eric to celebrate 12 months of him giving up smoking.'
'I've cut down to one a day.'
'The nicotine patch controls the craving, but he still needs to do something with his hands.'
'I wish my dad wasn't trying to quit. Sneaking his nicotine patches just isn't the same.'
'I finally kicked the fire breathing habit, now I'm stuck on mints and I'm gaining weight.'
'I'm glad to see you're applying a new nicotine patch each day. By the way, they're disposable.'
I gave up smoking to annoy the wife by living longer.