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"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."
"Real men don't shave, but, if you have to, don't be dainty about it."
"The Closer, Cleaner, Smoother Reaper."
Tags:death, grim reaper, grim reapers, reaper, reapers, embodiment of death, death personified, spectre of death, thanatos, angel of death, scythe, scythes, shaver, shavers, razor, razors, facial hair, men, man, commercial, commercials, ad, ads, advertising, advertisement, advertisements, marketing, slogan, slogans, closer, smoother, cleaner
"And then one day I decided, no more razor burns for me."
Crap from the future.
Tags:razor, razors, razorblade, razorblades, razor blade, razor blades, safety razor, safety razors, special feature, special features, feature, features, future, futurist, futurists, future product, future products, blade, blades, deluxe razor, deluxe razors, useless, uselessness, consumerism, consumerist, consumerists, modern life, modern times, advertisement, advertisements, advertising, better mousetrap, better mousetraps, invention, inventions, inventor, inventors
'Well, maybe the world isn't quite ready for our ultra-deluxe smooth glide 36 blade razor.'
Ockham's Chooses a Razor,
'OF COURSE we're still lending! What do you need? Comb? Razor? Toothbrush?'
"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"
'No, we haven't converted to Islam. Henry has just lost his razor.'
'Before he grew his beard, Kris Kringle was know as St 'Nick', patron saint of people who cut themselves shaving.'
'Our business model is very simple. When sales dip, we add another blade.'
"Wow...you're really creating a buzz online."
'I don't know...He's got an edge about him I kinda like.'
Visit Santa today...sponsored by Acme Razor Company
Tags:santa claus, father christmas, santa, saint nick, saint nicholas, st nicholas, st. nicholas, st. nick, st nick, grotto, grottos, beard, beards, costume, costumes, fancy dress, false beard, false beards, fake beards, fake beard, clean shave, close shave, clean shaven, facial hair, razor, razors, elf, elves, sponsor, sponsors, sponsorship, disappointments, festive season, christmas, xmas, consumer, consumers, consumer holiday, consumer holidays
'I thought it was confetti too, until I saw Mom shaving Dad's back on the patio.'
"They keep bringing out new ones with extra blades..."
Tags:guillotine, madame guillotine, dr. joseph guillotine, guillotines, the french revolution, the terror, the reign of terror, louis xvi, marie antoinette, execution, executions, capital punishment, public execution, public executions, shave, shaver, shavers, close shave, razor, razors, updates, product updates, modifications, product modifications, new model, revised model, new models, revised models, upgrade, product upgrade, extras, upgrading, upgrades
Boy to Dad about broken razor: 'That's funny. It was working just fine when I groomed the dog this morning.'
'I got myself a new razor, according to the package it's supposed to bring out the goddess in you.' 'Which one, love or war?'
"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"
Tags:personal appearance, beauty, grooming, man, men, razor, razors, comb, combs, messy, 5 o'clock shadow, five o'clock shadow, stubble, facial hair, hair, unkempt, scruffy, restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, order, orders, ordering, recommendation, recommendations, recommend, recommending, suggest, suggestion, suggestions, suggesting