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"You know what? I'm still not interested in Bruce Jenner."
"The public's taste in entertainment has certainly changed."
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"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."
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"Curious and curiouser."
The Reality Stars & Stripes
'How long is this 'walk of fame'... We're into reality stars now.'
"I've called this meeting to inform you that I'm resigning my position as CEO. I've landed a sweet role on a very popular TV sitcom."
"Do you think reality television will ever show reality?"
"Which network would you like to get your daily fill of Kardashian news from?"
'When are we going to get our own family, TV, reality show?'
'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'
"Our panel tonight consists of three people who have primarily gained their fame for being objects of ridicule."
"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."
'Kim Kardashian must be depressed about her weight gain. She hasn't tweeted any naughty pictures of herself in hours.'
'It's only a game of Snake and Ladders, Gillian.'
"The most dangerous threats to civilisation are terrorism, TTIP and Kim Kardashian."
'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'
'Dear, you're not supposed to take it seriously...it's a reality show!'
"Why are these reality show stars so famous? They're sneaky! They're conniving! They're evil!"
I want to be on reality TV.
"Excuse me, I'm late for my new show 'Lancing With the Stars'."