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First Cynic in Space
'Congratulations on smashing the marathon world record! What would you say was the secret to your success?'
'We just set a new record for tubes and wires in one patient.'
"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."
Tags:dog, dogs, pet, pets, bark, barks, barking, park, parks, dog walk, dog walks, night time, night, nights, record, records, world record, world records, record breaking, record breakers, derange, deranged, mad, crazy, insane, non-stop, idea, ideas, fun, game, games, anoy, annoys, annoying, achieve, achievement, achievements
"Do you mind if a few reporters come through?"
Tags:garden, gardens, gardener, gardeners, gardening chore, gardening chores, garden chore, garden chores, yard chore, yard chores, yard work, garden work, kitchen garden, kitchen gardens, vegetable garden, vegetable gardens, reporter, reporters, marrow, marrows, record breaker, record breakers, record breaking, journalist, journalists, journalism, front page, thelwell
The Specimen Hunter
If you think you have caught a record fish...make sure you have a witness...
Tags:fishermen, fisherman, fishing, angler, anglers, angling, fishing trip, fishing trips, fishing boat, fishing boats, fishing etiquette, fishing rod, fishing rods, catch, catches, big catch, big catches, fishing tales, fishing stories, lighthouse, lighthouses, witness, witnesses, record breaker, record breakers, record breaking, thelwell
'Jumping over the moon wasn't enough for Bessie! Oooh, no...she had to go for a world record and try for Mars!'
"My client would like 75 other offences taken into consideration for his Guinness Book of Records attempt."
Tags:court, court case, criminal court, court cases, criminal courts, high court, defendant, the accused, criminal, criminals, criminal offence, offense, charge, charges, barrister, barristers, lawyer, lawyers, law, laws, law courts, court of law, prosecution, attorney, attorneys, judge, judges, record breaker, record breakers, record-breaking, record-breaker, record-breakers, world record, world records
Kate's Evil Plan: 'You only held the angelic smile of faux innocence for ten seconds.'
'I broke a record at work today. We were presenting to the client and Ed went first and they told him his idea was the worst idea they'd ever heard. I presented next, and that's when I broke the record.'
"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."
Tags:big family, big families, family life, family-life, record, records, breakfast, breakfasts, diner, diners, eating out, english breakfast, english breakfasts, breakfast, breakfasts, waitress, waitresses, record breaker, record breakers, record breaking, family meal, family meals, booth, booths, difficult customer, difficult customers
"My ship didn't sink. I swam here from New Jersey to get into The Guinness Book of World Records."
Tags:desert island, desert islands, castaway, castaways, marooned, world record, world records, record breaker, record breakers, swimmer, swimmers, swimming, priorities, wrong priorities, bad priorities, competitive, competitiveness, disappointment, disappointments, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs, setting records, long distance swimmer, long distance swimmers
Horace Dung Beetle- Guinness World Record Holder.
'Wow! She's fast. She even had time to do her shopping!'
'He just gave the longest speech ever, with nobody in attendance.'
'Huxtable has been on hold for four days, a world record? You mean that's what's trending on twitter?'
"Well, I'm not breaking any records. How about you?"
On the plus side...it was a new Olympic Pole-Vaulting record...
'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'
'I'm sure you are proud of being a world record holder. But having 7,935 different employers in one month isn't something I'd put on my resume.'
"Another world record - it must be faster water."
'For a brief time I held the world record for the youngest person on earth.'
'You have reached the office of the Guinness Book of World Records. If you are calling about an erection that has lasted four hours or longer, please hang up the phone and seek immediate medical attention.'
'I don't care how many seconds it took! I need to dry my hair now!'