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"Do you know anything that reflects the current job market?"
The Tooth Fairy looks for temp work.
'Is that ACME recruitment... The software designer you sent me needs his mummy.'
'Hello, is that the temp agency - Now listen, I specifically asked for elves!'
"It's a perfect position for you...You'll be able to use your degree in advanced Mathematics to count the tins you're stacking!"
Unglamourous job, but with massive rewards. How about the city?
'...No it's Malcom from ***** after someone with autocad experience in elecro-mechanical design.'
'Got any rugby jobs?'
'He was hoping for £45,000 but I could only get him £44,500. . . I can hardly stand it.'
'Our clients are very specific about their needs and most of them are looking for more than achieving level 15 in Doom Warrior, Merchant of Death 5.'
Career in a rut? Call ********* The recruitment specialists.
'I worked briefly in a Fine-China shop, but it didn't work out...'
"Any other skills besides having the ability to look busy?"
Recruitment Agency: "Describe yourself in three words."
"There's no denying that you are ambitious but we are looking for someone with more dress sense."
'We found an accountant for you last week to look after your petty cash. Now you're looking for both of them.'
Employment Agency - Closed.
Then - 'Employee of the month' Now - 'An employee for a month? certainly, sir'
'These days I spend most of the time trying to find a job myself.'
'Are you an equal opportunity employer?'
'Have you ever been to prison? If not, Burrows, Smith & Klein would like to know if you'd be willing.'
Thankless jobs...always hiring!
'If your previous work involved 'hits', maybe you'd enjoy working in local radio or something?'
'We do require human references, if possible!'