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'Wow, this furniture store is overstocked again. And they're cutting prices again. This is like the 50th time this year.'
"I try to do my part."
Tags:recycling, recycle, jet, jets, airplane, private jet, private jets, jet airplane, plane, planes, trash, trashes, rubbish, bin, bins, trashcan, trash can, flying, wealth, wealthy, rich, high society, environmental, environmentalism, eco friendly, eco-friendly, irony, ironic, millionaire, millionaires, billionaire, billionaires, climate, climate change, waste, zero waste, zerowaste, carbon emissions, green house gases, greenhouse gases, reduce, reduce reuse recycle
'It's the most effective appetite suppressant available,'
Tags:weigh, weighs, weight, weight, gastric band, gastric bands, diet, diets, dieting, obese, obesity, fat, fats, fatty, band, bands, reduce, reduces, reduction, reductions, appetite, appetites, suppress, suppresses, suppressing, suppressant, suppressants, tummy, tummies, belly, bellies, close to home
"The beer should be cold in two hours."
Tags:beer, cool, cools, chill, chills, chiller, beach, beach vacation, beach vacations, beach holiday, beach holidays, cold, cold beer, lager, chilled, solar panel, solar panels, environmentally friendly, sustainable, sustainable energy, green energy, inefficient, inefficiency, dogmatic, environmentalist, environmentalists, environmentalism, reduce, recycle, reuse, green lifestyle, green lifestyles
Exec Has His Whole Life At His Desk
Tags:desk life, life, work life, life work, work life balance, life's work, exec, executive, reason to live, sad, sadness, office, office life, desk, desks, desk jockey, desk job, desk jobs, businessmen, businessman, modern life, modern world, working world, world of work, critique, critical, critic, critics, commentary, comment, reduce, reduction, reduction of spirit, dystopia, dystopian, capitalism, capitalist
"Sorry, Harold, but I'm reducing our carbon footprint."
Tags:carbon footprint, carbon footprints, footprint, footprints, murder, murders, murdering, murderer, murderers, excuse, excuses, shoot, shoots, shooting, shootings, shot, husband, husbands, wife, wives, discord, marital discord, environmentalism, environmentalist, environmentalists, resources, reduce, reduces, reducing
"We used your unsold copies to build a tree, but it's not the same."
Tags:tree, trees, book, books, literature, paper, papers, unsold, unsold copy, unsold copies, writer, writers, author, authors, publisher, publishers, conservation, conservation effort, conservation efforts, ecology, recycle, recycling, reuse, reduce, three r's, forest, forests, waste, wasteful, environmentally-friendly, environmentally friendly, environment, ecological, green
"I was an eight, too, until the number crunchers got hold of me."
Tags:number cruncher, number crunchers, number crunching, accountant, accounting, accountants, bureaucracy, math, maths, mathematics, reduce, reducing, reduced, belittled, belittle, demote, demoted, calculate, calculations, numerical calculation, subtract, subtraction, divide, devision, math teacher, math teachers, maths teacher, maths teachers, financial analyst, financial analysts, statistics, stats, statistician, number cruncher politics
'Take this report and reduce it to an acronym.'
"See if you can get my sentence reduced to a two-book deal."
Tags:sarcasm, sarcastic, profit, profits, reduce, reduced sentence, ironically, irony, ironic, management, upper management, big boss, boss, bosses, manager, managers, exec, execs, executive, executives, board, boardroom, chief exec, chief executive, chief executives, board member, tax, taxes, fat cat, fat cats, corrupt, corruption, financial, white collar crime, capitalism, capitalist, late stage capitalism, let off, smack on the wrist, jail, jailed, prison, prisoner, prisoners, reduce
"Please help us reduce our garbage and improve our energy efficiency and our water quality. Help us to be eco-wise and-above all-to empower others."
Tags:ecowarrior, ecowarriors, eco-warrior, eco-warriors, recycle, recycles, recycling, reduce, reduces, reducing, indoctrinate, indoctrinates, indoctrination, eco-wise, empower, empowers, empoweringarbage, energy efficiency, energy efficient, pray, prays, praying, global warming, climate change, religious fervor
"Better lay off using the heating pad."
Office of Management and Budget and Mandatory Cuts
"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."
Tags:cat, cats, nap, naps, catnap, catnaps, cat nap, cat naps, napping, sleep, sleeps, sleeping, daily nap, daily naps, relax, relaxes, relaxing, dog, dogs, pet, pets, cat lover, cat lovers, cat owner, cat owners, long nap, long naps, cut back, cuts back, cutting back, reduce, reduces, reducing, reduction, reductions
"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"
Introducing clean conscience products
"In the interest of streamlining the judicial process, we'll skip the evidence and go directly to sentencing."
Tags:lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, law, legal, legal system, legal process, judicial system, justice, judge, judges, court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, judicial process, skip, evidence, sentencing, streamlining, shorten, reduce, process, processes, modern life, modern justice
Apple Redesigns The Bowling Ball
Tags:design, product, product design, minimal, minimalism, minimalist, minimalists, pared down, pared, pared back, change, changes, redesign, redesigns, classic, classics, bowling ball, simple, simplicity, effective, effective design, design standards, standards, visual gag, visual gags, reduce, reduced, reduction, reductionist, reductive
"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."
Tags:coach, coaches, coaching, football, football player, football players, tough, difficult, difficulty, difficulties, algebra, teacher, teachers, math, maths, mathematics, calculus, play, plays, football play, football plays, challenge, challenges, challenging, complain, complains, complaining, football player, football players, football team, football teams, reduce, reduces, reducing, math difficulty
'I'm doing my bit to reduce overcrowding in the classroom.'
How women see it, how men see it.
This is my husband, Leonard, at approximately one-third actual size."
Tags:visual gag, visual gags, married life, married world, husband, husbands, wives, wife, marriage, old married couple, convenience, snack size, snack sized, convenient, small, size, reduce, reduced, shrink, shrinking, shrunk, freud, freudian, oedipal complex, oedipus complex, strange, surreal, child, kid, kids, parallels, parallel
'City bonuses cut by a third.'
Tags:city bonuses, bonuses, fat cats, bankers, bank, banks, banking, city, bonus, bonuses, fat cats, money, wealth, rich, cut, cuts, down, third, reduced, low, lower, reduced, reduce, bank bonus, bank bonuses, executive bonus, executive bonuses, wealth inequality, income inequality, economic inequality
"I think Jules is reminding Nat that each and every one of us produces four pounds of garbage each day, every day."
Tags:environmentalist, environmentalists, environmentalism, gadfly, gadflies, activist, activists, activism, garbage, waste, waste management, recycle, recycles, reduce, reduces, reducing waste, carbon footprint, carbon footprints, garbage, hector, hectors, hectoring, bother, bothers, bothering, annoy, annoys, annoying, irritate, irritates, irritating, irritation, irritations, hippy, hippies
He may overreacted to the gossip that the ship was sinking.
Tags:sinking ship, sinking ships, life jacket, life jackets, lifejacket, lifejackets, life-jacket, life-jackets, gossip, gossiping, whispers, rumor, rumors, rumour, rumours, irresponsible, chatter, inaccurate information, inaccurate info, finance, financial, cfo, sales, revenue, income, profit, negative, decline, declining, reduce, reduction, need, new, strategy, plan, turnaround, metaphor, metaphors, metaphorical, literal