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"I want you to try thinking outside the severage package."
"No, we're not eliminating your position, Fischer. We're just eliminating your salary."
Tags:fire, fired, sack, sacked, firing, fires, unemployed, unemployment, salary, salaries, eliminating your position, corporate culture, corporate cultures, corporation, corporations, businessmen, businessman, businessperson, businesspeople, veiled, imply, implied, implied, business men, business man, business person, business people, made redundant, redundancy package, reworded
"Special assignment, Chaswick. I need you to test our severance package."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, office, office, office life, manager, manager, management, executive, executives, employee, employees, worker, workers, job, work, fire, firing, fired, test, tests, testing, special assignment, special assignments, assignment, assignments, task, tasks, special task, special tasks, unemployment, unemployed, severance, severance package, severance packages, severance pay, redundancy, redundancy package, redundancy packages, redundancy pay, human resources, hr, h.r.
Golden Parachutes for Middle Managers
Tags:retirement, retirement package, retirement packages, downsize, downsize, golden parachute, golden parachutes, middle manager, middle managers, middle management, severance pay, severance package, redundancy package, severance packages, redundancy pay, downsizing, job, employment, parachute, manager, 401k, severance, pay
"We can't offer you a golden parachute, however we do provide a very attractive escape hatch."
'Think of it as a buyout package, Bob...without the 'buy' and just the 'out'!'
"To show we're not all bad, the company is giving all laid off employees a GPS device to help them find the unemployment office."
Tags:lay off, lay-off, lay-offs, lay offs, laid off, laid-off, redundancy, redundancies, redundancy package, redundancy packages, unemployment office, job center, job centre, job centres, job centers, unemployment benefits, unemployment welfare, gps, sat nav, satellite navigation, employee, employees, employer, employers, directions
'It took a great severance package before I agreed to ride off into the sunset.'
"You get a bonus too. It's called severance pay."
'...And the next termination letter goes to...'
Tags:dismissal, dismissals, redundancy, redundancies, redundant, hr, human resources, personnel, job, jobs, job security, job insecurity, termination, terminations, employment, unemployed, unemployment, employed, lay off, lay offs, lay-off, lay-offs, laid-off, laid off, sack, sacks, sacked, award ceremony, award ceremonies, redundancy package, drama, dramas
'We've downgraded the Golden Parachute.'
'When I retire I hope for a soft landing.'
"We've been fired We're RICH!"
'Wait a sec here! This is a parachute, but it's NOT golden!'
'I was hoping my unfair dismissal claim would offer a bonanza, but they put a cap in it.'
'It was my unfair dismissal claim cap.'
'The facts speak for themselves: My opinion however is in the accompanying letter with your redundancy package.'
'I'm afraid the redundancy package means I'm confined to the house for two years.'
"Larry, as board members, we've decided to go ahead and honor your outrageous compensation package, however, you're really, really going to have to work for it."
Tags:ceo, ceos, compensation package, compensation packages, golden parachute, golden parachutes, payments, payment, fat cat, fat cats, pay off, pay offs, compensation, bonus, bonuses, fire, fires, fired, sack, sacks, sacking, sackings, firings, outsource, outsourced, outsourcing, redundant, redundancy, redundancies, downsize, downsizing, downsized, redundancy package, redundancy packages, treasure map, treasure maps, executive lifestyle, executive lifestyles
'Our severance package, Perkins, includes the option of riding off into the sunset.'
'Sorry, I have to let you go!'
'You've been here a long time Tommy, so we're prepared to offer you a generous severance pay-off.'
"Come out, Snivers, it's a decent enough redundancy package."