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"I put in for reincarnation, but they said if you don't know computers forget it."
Tags:death, dead, die, dies, died, dying, departed soul, departed souls, angel, angels, the dead, reincarnation, reincarnate, reincarnates, reincarnated, reincarnating, reborn, rebirth, computer, computers, knowledge, request, requests, requesting, requested, request denied, deny, denied, denies, denying, reject, rejected, rejection, rejections, computer whizz, computer knowledge, computer engineer, computer engineers, computer engineering, computers, computer, know-how
'Well, QUIT sending me back as a low-bid contractor.'
Back in another life.
'Gotta be worth a try.'
A Tree's Prayer: "...If I should die before I wake, Please don't let me come back as toilet paper. Amen."
NOW HIRING GURUS, 'I brought a resume for each reincarnation.'
'You could go back as a tapeworm, a dung beetle or a telemarketer. That's all we have available at the moment.'
"You realize that if you're reincarnated, you'll need to learn all new passwords?"
"He believed in reincarnation."
"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"
1,000 places to see after you die by Shirley Maclaine.
'My other shell is broke.'
"Whoa, I dreamt I died, and came back in a toasted sesame bun!"
'In my next eight lives, I'm coming back as a cat.'
"I can see that in your past life you were also a gullible schmo easily taken in by charlatans."
Tags:fortune teller, fortune tellers, clairvoyant, clairvoyants, clairvoyants, crystal ball, charlatan, swindler, swindle, swindles, reincarnations, reincarnating, crystal balls, charlatans, swindlers, past life, past lives, reincarnation, new age, mysticism, mystic, spiritual advice, spirits, schmo, schmos, con, cons, scam, scams, scammer, scammers, con women, con woman, gullible, gullibility
"I wish he'd get reincarnated!"
"Sometimes I wish I'd never been reborn."
Reincarnation section of a bookstore
"That's a relief!"
"When I was working at the Payday Loan Company I had no idea what reincarnation was."
Tags:payday loans, payday loans, pay day loan, pay day loans, pay-day loan, pay-day loans, shark, predator, predators, reincarnation, reincarnations, reincarnating, reincarnated, loan shark, loan sharks, sharks, animals, finance, high interest loans, business shark, business sharks, high interest, interest rate, interest rates, aggressive finance
"...Well, yes. There is some good news... If you believe in reincarnation."
Tags:reincarnation, diagnosis, diagnoses, prognosis, prognoses, terminal illness, terminal, terminal diagnosis, reincarnate, reincarnates, reincarnating, belief, beliefs, religious belief, religious beliefs, afterlife, afterlives, good news, bad news, delivering bad news, positive spin, positive spins, positive light, positive lights
"I'm having trouble with my long-term memory -- I can't remember my earlier reincarnations."
Tags:guru, gurus, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, shrink, shrinks, psychologist, psychologists, psychology, therapist, therapists, therapy, buddhism, buddhist, buddhists, hinduism, hindu, hindus, reincarnation, reincarnations, reincarnating, reincarnate, memory loss, memory-loss, long-term memory, long-term memories, reincarnates, previous life, previous lives
"Apparently, he was a firm believer in reincarnation... He's left everything to himself."
Tags:will, last will and testament, reincarnation, reincarnate, reincarnates, reincarnating, buddhist, buddhists, buddhism, estate, estates, selfish, selfishness, wills, inheritance, inheritances, inherit, inherits, inheriting, religious belief, religious beliefs, afterlife, afterlives, loophole, loopholes
'Oh, sorry Dad!'
"Yeah - I keep getting aborted."
Tags:reincarnation, reincarnations, reincarnating, reincarnated, reincarnate, reincarnates, angel, angels, afterlife, afterlives, after-life, after-lives, after life, after lives, angel, angels, rebirth, rebirths, birth rate, birth rates, birth control, contraceptive, population control, population controls, contraception, contraceptives, clinic, zero, zpg, nonproliferation, non-proliferation, nuclear families, abortion, abortions, aborted