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'He's going to a better place . . . possibly to power an '86 jetta.'
"When I die, I want to come back at anything except a book of short stories."
'Don't worry about my little aches & pains... the important thing is for YOU to be happy!' ~ one of reincarnation's fun little twists.
"It's your Grandpa's cocoon."
'Well, QUIT sending me back as a low-bid contractor.'
"I wasn't anybody in a previous lifetime, either."
Back in another life.
'Gotta be worth a try.'
A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.
A Tree's Prayer: "...If I should die before I wake, Please don't let me come back as toilet paper. Amen."
NOW HIRING GURUS, 'I brought a resume for each reincarnation.'
No goofy comment about coming back to life as a house cat!
'Whatever it is you're doing down there, Malcolm, I think it's affecting the television.'
"You realize that if you're reincarnated, you'll need to learn all new passwords?"
Tags:afterlife, afterlives, after-life, after-lives, customer service, customer services, customer experience, customer experiences, customer satisfaction, customer feedback, life experience, life experiences, reincarnation, reincarnations, reincarnated, lifestyle, lifestyles, meaning of life, fruit, fruits, life experience, life experiences
"He believed in reincarnation."
"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"
'I'm sorry, Mr. Krebs, but at present, we're only interested in the employment experience you've had in THIS lifetime.'
'We're sending you back so that you can pay off your student loans.'
'One thing all our employees share, is a conviction they must have done something horrible in a past life, to work here.'
'My other shell is broke.'
"Whoa, I dreamt I died, and came back in a toasted sesame bun!"
"I can see that in your past life you were also a gullible schmo easily taken in by charlatans."
Tags:fortune teller, fortune tellers, clairvoyant, clairvoyants, clairvoyants, crystal ball, charlatan, swindler, swindle, swindles, reincarnations, reincarnating, crystal balls, charlatans, swindlers, past life, past lives, reincarnation, new age, mysticism, mystic, spiritual advice, spirits, schmo, schmos, con, cons, scam, scams, scammer, scammers, con women, con woman, gullible, gullibility
'In my next eight lives, I'm coming back as a cat.'