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"I died in my sleep."
Angel in heaven walking a dog that is peeing off of a cloud
"The wings are addictive."
"Sorry, all the wings are standard."
"God has chosen to ignore my prayers concerning the outcome of this year's election, and so I feel that I am once again free to be a very bad little boy."
Tags:politics, politician, politicians, political, political leader, political leaders, government, governments, president, presidents, election, elections, relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, god, gods, religion, religious, prayer, prayers, pray
"Or,if you prefer, I also have lox and bagels."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, genesis, book of genesis, adam, eve, first humans, creation story, creation myth, animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, snake, snakes, serpent, serpents, food, bagel, bagels, lox, salmon, jewish cuisine, jewish, jewish delicacies, choice, choices, tempting, original sin
"And now, if I may, I'd like to put You on hold for a moment while I have a few words with Mammon."
Tags:religion, religious, god, pray, prayer, prayers, praying, bible, biblical, new testament, mammon, evil, business, businessman, businessmen, money, finances, wealth, wealthy, rich, greed, greedy, avarice, materialism, materialistic, communication, phone, phones, telephone, telephones, call, calls, put on hold, hold, holding
"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."
Tags:religion, religious, god, heaven, bible, biblical, angel, angels, judgement day, last judgement, final judgement, day of judgement, doomsday, the day of the lord, second coming of christ, business, planning, scheduling, timetable, timetables, long weekend, long weekends, timetabling, meeting, meetings, board meeting, board meetings, decision, decisions, deciding, choosing a date, deciding on a date, settling on a date, committee, committees, weekend, weekends
"In the future, everyone will have privacy for fifteen minutes."
Tags:privacy, spiritualists, fortune tellers, andy warhol, religion, science, pseudo, trends, pseudoscience, clairvoyant, clairvoyance, crystal ball, crystal balls, privacy, private time, internet privacy, age of the internet, internet age, privacy right, privacy rights, fifteen minutes of fame, quote, quotes, quotation, quotations, famous phrase, famous phrases, soothsayer, soothsayers, mankoff
"Oh them, They're contrarians."
"Hello there. I'm the bluebird of Orthodox Judaism. What do you say you get up, you put on t'fillin and you daven this morning?"
"A yin-yin situation"
"Mr. Levine, may I see you a moment?"
"Jitters on Wall Street today over rumors that Alan Greenspan said, 'A rich man can as soon enter Heaven as a camel fit through the eye of a needle.' "
Tags:news, media, business, stock market, government, federal reserve, banks, religion, bible, greenspan, jesus, jesus christ, eye of a needle, eye of a needle speech, eye of a needle speeches, frugal, frugal life, wall street, stock market, market report, market reports, capitalist, capitalists, capitalism, socialist, socialists, socialism, christ, mankoff
"Remember,this is a one-shot, not an entitlement."
"It's getting much harder for me to distinguish good from evil. All I'm certain about is what's appropriate and what's inappropriate."
"Another near-death experience."
"I hear we went platinum."
Tags:monk, monks, music, musics, single, singles, album, albums, monastery, monasteries, monastic, gregorian chant, sing, singing, bell, bells, cistercian monks, cistercian, platinum, selling, sells, sold, spanish, spain, hit, musical hits, pop songs, platinum album, pop music, popular, purchases, religion, one million
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, old testament, exodus, book of exodus, deuteronomy, book of deuteronomy, moses, commandment, commandments, ten commandments, 10 commandments, decalogue, mount sinai, mt. sinai, children of israel, israelite, israelites, questioning, doubting, suspicious, bad attitude, backtalk, talk back
"We do pretty well when you stop to think that people are basically good."
"Today's sermon will be followed immediately by a rebuttal from the opposition."
Tags:religion, religious, god, phone, phones, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, cellular phone, cellular phones, mobile phone, mobile phones, smart phone, smart phones, smartphone, smartphones, app, apps, application, applications, technology, praying, prayer, prayers, plague, plagues, weather, apocalypse, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, prophet, prophets, love, romance, soulmate, soulmates, holy book, bible, bibles, biblical, devil, email, emails, e-mail, e-mails, game, games, social media, social networking, social network, social networks
Jesus sighted walking off Malibu.
"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."
Tags:religion, religious, death, after death, afterlife, heaven, heaven's gate, entrance to heaven, entering heaven, st. peter's gate, saint peter's gate, pearly gates, st. peter, saint peter, angel, angels, market, markets, stock market, stock markets, stockbroker, stockbrokers, trader, traders, investor, investors, investing, business, businessman, businessmen, investment, investments, bear market, luck, lucky, stock, stocks, trading, money, finances