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"Mr. Levine, may I see you a moment?"
"We do pretty well when you stop to think that people are basically good."
"Hello there. I'm the bluebird of Orthodox Judaism. What do you say you get up, you put on t'fillin and you daven this morning?"
"This is what I hate about spring—molting!"
Tags:religious, religious imagery, religion, religions, heaven, heavens, angel, angels, angelic, wing, wings, feather, feathers, feathered, nature, natural, animal, animals, bird, birds, molt, molting, moult, moulting, seasons, spring, spring time, visual gag, literal, practicality, practicalities, logistics, logistical, practical implications
"Excuse me, have you heard how great I am?"
Tags:god, gods, flyer, flyers, street, streets, preacher, preachers, street preacher, street preachers, religion, religions, religious, gospel, open-air preaching, public preaching, great, greatness, handout, handouts, leaflets, leaflet, advert, advertising, adverts, announce, announcement, poster, posters, sell, selling, advertisement, arrogant, arrogance, self-important, self important
Moses Awaits The Word Of God
Tags:moses, mt sinai, sinai, mount sinai, religion, religions, religious, religious figure, religious figures, voice of god, god, heaven, heavens, christian, christians, christianity, exodus, book of exodus, ten commandments, is typing, typing, seen, left on read, tech, technology, app, apps, social media, social medias, modern, modern world, visual gag, visual joke
The Mishegoss Stops Here
Tags:yiddish, jew, jews, jewish, judaism, religion, religions, religious, mishegoss, mischief, the buck stops here, nonsense, tomfoolery, foolery, office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, serious, strict, manager, managers, management, boss, bosses, shpasik, jtoons
Prayers For Agnostics
The Lost Contact Lenses of the Gods
Tags:contact lens, contact lenses, assume, assumption, assumptions, discover, discoveries, new discoveries, religions, ancient artefact, ancient artefacts, historian, historians, ancient monument, ancient monuments, modern life, archaeology, archaeologist, archaeologists, sci-fi, sci fi, science fiction
"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."
"No, we're not Jewish, but we think it would be fun for our reception's theme to be 'A Jewish Wedding.'"
Tags:jewish, judaism, religion, religions, religious, culture, cultural appropriation, misappropriation, power imbalance, cultural adoption, marriage, engaged, engagement, wedding planning, wedding planner, wedding planners, bride, brides, groom, grooms, special events, special event, wedding, weddings, fiance, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, white people, relationship, relationships, ignorance, ignorant, shpasik, jtoons
"I'm afraid this is auf Wiedersehen, Padre. Estelle and I are setting up our own little religion."
The Shnorrer's Shnorrer
"A fantastic evangelist was on TV, and I sent him everything."
Tags:tv, television, tvs, televisions, religion, religions, evangelist, evangelism, evangelical, evangelists, tv evangelist, husband, wife, marriage, multi level marketing, multi-level marketing, mlm, pyramid, pyramid scheme, advertising, advertisement, televangelism, televangelists, televangelist, megachurch, megachurches, scam, scamming, scammed, con, conned, prosperity gospel, con, cons, con artist, con artists
Angel Uses Lightning Bolt Like Sniper Rifle
Tags:gun, guns, gunman, snipe, sniped, sniper, snipers, sniper rifle, scope, scoped, no scope, scoped in, aim, aimed, angel, angels, unlikely, heaven, heavens, heavenly, lightning, lightning bolt, bolt, bolt action, bolts, repent, repents, repenting, retribution, retribution, god, gods, godly, god above, zeus, jupiter, religious imagery, religion, religions, myth
"Excuse me, sir - do you have a minute to listen to the dream I had last night?"
"With me it's neither nature nor nurture. It's Satan."
"She'll be driving six white horses when she comes. I can't compete with that."
Tags:child, children, children's song, kids, kid, kid's song, kid's songs, she'll be coming round the mountain, competition, competitions, compete, competing, attraction, grand entrance, christian song, religion, religions, religious, christian, christians, christianity, comparing, gossip, gossiping, smack talk, talking smack, talking trash, trash talk
Jewish Deep Thinker
"What do you care what other people think? Just run zig-zaggy."
"I forget who our cult actually worships, but we have a hell of a good time."
"I found them."
And on the Eighth Day God Just Puttered Around the House
Jesus Feeds the 5K
Tags:communion, jesus, jesus christ, the end is nigh, the end is near, religion, religions, religious, christian, christians, christianity, run, runner, runners, running, jog, jogging, jogger, joggers, refreshment, refreshments, volunteer, volunteers, wine, bread, marathon, marathons, race, races, racing