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'Well here's your problem - the wheel hasn't been invented yet.'
"It pains me to tell you this, but it ain't broke."
Tags:broken, broke, fix, fixed, fixing, sales, salesman, salesperson, fix-it, repair, repairs, repaired, repairman, repairmen, customer, customers, customer service, appliances, truthful, honest, honesty, honestly, rip-off, ripped-off, returned, returns, return, shop, shops, store, stores, maintenance
'Told you to get your mower fixed.'
'Odd as it may seem, it needs oil.'
Tags:oil, oils, petrol, petrols, door, doors, entrance, entrances, irony, ironic, odd, oddity, oddities, technician, technicians, repair, repairs, repairing, repaired, maintain, maintains, maintaining, maintained, maintenance, fix, fixes, fixing, fixed, shortage, shortages, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
In case of fire - Break glass.
Father-in-law - Break glass in case of emergency
'Do you repair immune systems?'
"Have you been trying to fix this yourself."
"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."
'My door is always open to all employees, but only until my air conditioner is repaired.'
"You know what? I probably could have put Humpty Dumpty back together again but I was just too pissed."
Tags:nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, mother goose, literature, children's story, children's stories, character, characters, fictional character, fictional characters, humpty dumpty, king's men, kings men, soldier, soldiers, guard, guards, pissed, angry, anger, fixed, fixing, repaired, repairing, too late, broken, smashed
'Sounds to me like your model has a $400 repair noise.'
'Not only did I fix the leak, but when you run the hot water it plays 'Harlem Nocturne'.'
'It's worse than we'd thought I'd like to call in all the kings horses and all the kings men.'
'Ma'am, I think I already see the problem with your cuckoo clock.'
Just to be on the safe side, Ed never makes a move until he runs the car through the computer - 'Yup, that baby's flat alright.'
'At least it pops up NOW.'
'Where have you been? You were supposed to be here yesterday!'
'Yup, it's broke alright... probably one of your theoretical physicists, or maybe one of them writers from Quantum Leap.'
'Pete and I have what we call the '80 percent duct tape rule'. Once something is patching up with 80 percent duct tape, I can toss it.'
'Unfortunately we don't do repairs on computers made prior to 1995. We do, however have a sale on sledgehammers.
'It's a new federal safety regulation. We have to slide a mattress behind you before we hand you your bill.'
Man checks the gears in his chest.
Tags:internal, internals, internal function, internal functions, gear, gears, cog, cogs, cog in a machine, cogs in a machine, inner working, inner workings, repair, repairs, repairing, repaired, crescent wrench, crescent wrenches, fix, fixes, fixing, fixer, fixers, repairman, repairmen, engineer, engineers, engineering, heart health, heart, hearts, organs, organ, internal organ, internal organs, doctor, doctors
'And that's just an estimate sir!'