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'Well here's your problem - the wheel hasn't been invented yet.'
"You won't believe how many Frisbees are up here!"
"I think you're using lawnmower repair to avoid intimacy."
A plumber pulls cash out from the sewer near a casino.
"The problem is that your trap is one big macaroni."
"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."
Tags:mechanic, mechanics, repair, repairing, workshop, workshops, work shop, work shops, engineer, engineers, diagnose, diagnosis, problem, problems, broken, broke, car, cars, motor, motors, motorcars, motorcar, engine, engines, carburetor, understatement, obvious, clear, expert, technician, technicians, repairman, repairmen, clearly, obviously, jargon, garage, garages
"So you think you can cobble!"
Tags:cobble, cobbled, cobbling, cobbler, shoe, shoes, shoe maker, shoemaker, talent, talented, talents, talent show, talent shows, tv, tvs, television, show, shows, theater, theatre, stage, stages, old fashioned, craft, crafts, crafting, repair, repairing, visual gag, visual, sight gag, sight joke, visual joke
"Hand me my claw hammer."
"It doesn't go 'baaroom' anymore. It only goes 'beep.'"
Tags:french horn, french horns, brass instrument, brass instruments, brass band, brass band, musical instrument, musical instruments, broken, brokens, music shop, music shops, instrument repair, instrument repairing, repair, repairing, repairs, musician, musicians, music, brass music, amateaur, amateaurs
'Told you to get your mower fixed.'
"Try blowing on it."
Tags:wind turbine, wind turbines, wind farm, wind farms, wind energy, energy, power, wind power, wind, windmill, windmills, environment, environmentally friendly, eco-friendly, ecological, green, green energy, clean energy, clean, engineer, engineers, repair, repairs, repairmen, repairman, problem, problems, issue, issues, blow, blowing, solution, solutions, solve, fan, fans, fix, fixing, repairing, alternative energy, try, attempt, mechanic, mechanics, not working, out of order, out-of-order, electricity, generator, generators
'Odd as it may seem, it needs oil.'
Tags:oil, oils, petrol, petrols, door, doors, entrance, entrances, irony, ironic, odd, oddity, oddities, technician, technicians, repair, repairs, repairing, repaired, maintain, maintains, maintaining, maintained, maintenance, fix, fixes, fixing, fixed, shortage, shortages, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'Will you shut up about how ironic this is and focus on getting us out of here'
Tags:elevator, elevators, lift, lift, repairmen, repairman, repair, repair, repairing, repairer, repairers, fix, fixes, fixing, fixer, fixers, irony, ironic, trap, traps, trapped, claustrophobic, claustrophobia, escape, escapes, escaping, escaped, conference, conferences, meeting, meetings, close to home
"Still won't start?"
Tags:car, cars, auto, autos, automobile, automobiles, car wont start, car won't start, car not starting, baseball, baseball bat, baseball bats, repair, repairs, repairing, car repairs, car repairing, engineer, engineers, mechanic, mechanics, car mechanic, car mechanics, disrepair, futile, unsuccessful, hopeless, heavy handed, heavy-handed, frustrating, frustration, frustrations, first world problems, irritating, irritation, irritations, everyday problem, everyday problems
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, saint nick, st. nicholas, saint nicholas, christmas, xmas, yule, noel, fake, false, fashion, style, personal appearance, belt, belts, belt buckle, belt buckles, beard, facial hair, glasses, eyeglasses, eyewear, designer, repair, repairs, repairing, duct tape, holiday, holidays
Joe's Fixit Shop: if it ain't broke,break it
A man looks at a sign in front of an elevator that reads "Out of Order - Technicians conducting tests of elevator's capacity to withstand inane chitchat."
Tags:elevator, elevators, lift, lifts, out of order, broken, broken down, tech, techs, technician, technicians, fixing, repairing, testing, test, tests, inane chitchat, chitchat, chatting, gossip, gossiping, conversation, conversations, small talk, sign, signs, signage, office, offices, office life, office building, office buildings, technology
Father-in-law - Break glass in case of emergency
"Yup. I'm guessing there's your problem."
Tags:switch, switches, on switch, on switches, off switch, off switches, flip a switch, flipping a switch, problem, problems, problem solver, problem solvers, problem solving, flip, flips, flipping, master switch, master switches, mistake, mistakes, accident, accidents, repairman, repairmen, repair, repairs, repairing
'Do you repair immune systems?'
"I'm just trying to earn enough to fix the hole in my cup."
"When we play the footage backward, it'll look like you're repairing it."
Tags:camera, cameras, break, breaks, breaking, backward, violin, repair, repairs, repairing, destroy, destroys, destroying, play backward, playing backwards, play backwards, record, records, recording, redings, recorded, film crew, film crews, commercial, commercials, shoot, shoots, shooting, incompetent, incompetence, cover up, covers up, covering up
"Have you been trying to fix this yourself."