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"I hate to be a wet blanket, Officer, but I wish to report my purse has been snatched."
"I want to report some counterfeit luggage."
"Some dude just picked my pocket!"
Please help me! The cat's got my tongue.
'Yes! That's it! --- Only the handles were a lot longer.'
"He's going to tell you someone stole his identity but I think he just lost it."