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"Excellent response time, Hemmings."
"So with our new Service Level Agreements our help desk is offering a much faster surly and sarcastic response."
"The bad news that he was knocked down by an ambulance but the good news is that it's done wonders for our response times!"
"Sorry we're late. We forgot to turn on the siren."
"Don't call 911! Call Luigi's Pizza. They promise to deliver in less than 30 minutes."
"Paramedics are still 10 minutes out! This guys has no pulse! Gimme your TASER!"
'What coincidence - I'm conducting a fire brigade time and motion study too.'
"On the upside, Sarge, we've broken our record time for getting to the scene of an accident."
The UN comes to help very slowly.
'We can now tell you there's nothing we can do much quicker.'
"I asked you a question, and you still haven't answered me. I don't know which has a slower response time, you or our old monitor."