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"Looks like you just missed Him."
Tags:ascension, ascensions, death, deaths, ascending, ascended, heaven, heavens, resurrection, resurrections, heavenly ascension, heavenly ascensions, boss, bosses, manager, managers, management, managements, corporate culture, corporate environment, appointment, appointments, bad timing, missed timing
I can rise from the ashes like a phoenix only so many times!
Tags:relationship, relationships, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, phoenix, myth, myths, legend, legends, ash, ashes, resurrection, resurrections, rise, rising, death, destruction, renewal, revitalisation, revitalization, revitalise, revitalize, reborn, rebirth, self-improvement, self-esteem, self-confidence, change, transformation, psychology, mental health
"You see? That noise you heard was just the man-monster Daddy cobbled together using stolen cadaver parts."
Tags:reassure, reassures, reassuring, reassurance, reassurances, father, fathers, dad, dads, basement, basements, creepy, scare, scares, scaring, child, kid, kids, parent, parents, parenting, frighten, frightens, frightening, freak out, freaks out, freaking out, mad scientist, mad scientists, frankenstein, frankenstein's monster, reanimate, reanimates, reanimating, resurrect, resurrects, resurrection, resurrecting, body parts, corpse, corpses, halloween
'Lazarus, I'll raise you.'
"Go and spread the Gospel. Hide it in colorful, little eggs for the world to find and be delighted by."
Tags:egg, eggs, easter, easter egg, easter eggs, easter bunny, easter bunnies, rabbit, rabbits, jesus, christ, resurrection, prophecy, prophecies, cognitive dissonance, tradition, traditions, celebration, celebrations, secular, secularization, secularisation, holiday, holidays, christian, christians, christianity, religious, sermon, sermons, sermon on the mount, sermons on the mount
"Thanks, man. I owe you one."
"Get your one-of-a-kind burial cloth of Jesus!"
"Lazarus was a whole different deal. This engine is just dead, dead, dead."
Tags:lazarus, the raising of lazarus, jesus, miracle, miracles, christ, gospel, gospels, car problem, car problems, engine problem, engine problems, resurrection, resurrections, mechanic, mechanics, bible story, bible stories, new testament, christianity, car engine, car engines, auto mechanic, auto mechanics, car mechanic, car mechanics
"He was always so needy."
Tags:death, cemetery, cemeteries, graveyard, graveyards, tombstone, tombstones, headstone, headstones, gravestone, gravestone, grave, graves, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, unhealthy relationship, unhealthy relationships, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, widow, widows, needy, clingy, zombie, zombies, return from the dead, resurrection
Jesus rises on Easter having also drank coffee
Tags:coffee, coffees, easter time, easter-time, eastertime, easter, jesus, jesus rising from dead, caffeine, reynolds unwrapped, easter day, christian, christians, christianity, caffeinated, morning coffee, wake up, wake ups, wake-up, wake-ups, easter morning, resurrection of jesus, resurrection of christ, resurrection
"It's rose, not pink...Because Jesus rose from the dead. He didn't pink from it."
'No, Igor, not Phillips head...Flat head! Flat head! Bring me the flat head!'
No goofy comment about coming back to life as a house cat!
'Whatever it is you're doing down there, Malcolm, I think it's affecting the television.'
The revival meeting.
Jesus Simultaneously Creates the Church and Rock and Roll.
"OK, Thomas. This is the last form of i.d. I have."
"See you later Lazarus."
"Do you think you could bring back Richard Nixon?"
'He's NOT coming back from the dead! He was just the Easter Bunny!'
"It's the third day, so I decided to have fresh coffee ready."
'When I left, the teacher was arising phoenix-like.'
"Asparagus, insurance detective. You died and we paid your life insurance and suddenly you rise from the dead?! That's what I'd call insurance fraud, Mr Jesus!"
Tags:jesus, jesus christ, resurrect, resurrects, resurrection, resurrections, easter, cave, caves, insurance, insurance adjuster, insurance adjusters, insurance investigator, insurance investigators, rise from the dead, rose from the dead, life insurance, insurance fraud, fraud, fraudulent, fraudulence
Error 404: the saviour you're looking for has been removed.
Tags:easter sunday, easter, resurrection, jesus, christ, jesus christ, 404 error, 404 errors, page not found, pages not found, error message, error messages, page error, page errors, tomb, tombs, divine resurrection, christian, christians, christianity, savior, saviors, bible, bible story, bible stories
The Post-Resurrection Years.
Tags:jesus, christ, jesus christ, christian, christians, christianity, miracle, miracles, resurrection, resurrections, easter story, easter, easters, easter time, gospels, carpentry, carpenter, carpenters, odd job, odd jobs, spiritual leader, spiritual leaders, religious leader, religious leaders, career change, career changes