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'I don't know Joe, maybe we;re using the wrong kind of glass?'
'$600 may be a lot for a pair of boots, but this was the best purchase of my life.'
'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'
'This summer, spoil yourself silly with a...Pocket Barbecue!'
Tags:barbecue, barbecues, bbq, bbqs, barbeque, barbeques, spoil yourself, spoiling yourself, treat yourself, treating yourself, consumer, consumers, consumerism, grill, grills, grilling, grilled, useless invention, useless inventions, invention, inventions, inventor, inventors, retailer, retailers, junk, worthless
"It starts earlier every year."
Tags:christmas, christmas season, holiday season, holiday, holidays, retail, retailer, retailers, commercialism, commercialist, santa, santas, santa claus, father christmas, charity, charities, fundraising, fundraiser, fundraisers, start early, starts early, starting early, raise money, raises money, raising money
Monuments 'n' Stuff
Tags:storefront, storefronts, name, names, monument, monuments, grave, graves, headstone, headstones, cemetery, cemeteries, disrespect, disrespects, disrespecting, undertaker, undertakers, mortuary, mortuaries, dark humor, black humor, dark humour, black humour, tombstone, tombstones, respect for the dead, show respect, shows respect, showing respect, consumer, consumer culture, consumerism, death, die, dies, dying, retailer, retailers, window shop, window shops, window shopping, modern life, modern times
Welcome to New York City - add 8.25 per cent
"Hey, Al! What do you know about shelf life?"
Tags:shelf life, shelf lives, double meaning, double meanings, literal, literally, literal interpretation, literal interpretations, stock shelves, stocking shelves, expiration, expiration date, expiration dates, expiry, expiries, dance, dances, dancing, dancing, miniature, miniatures, store, stores, shop, shops, retail store, retail stores, retailer, retailers, grocery store, grocery stores, supermarket, supermarkets
"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"
Tags:fetch, fetches, fetching, hubcap, hubcaps, dog, dogs, entrepreneur, entrepreneurs, retailer, retailers, collector, collectors, collection, collections, making money, businessman, businesswoman, take advantage, taking advantage, speedbump, speed bumps, speed bump, pothole, potholes, rough road, rough roads, road, roads, road repair, road repairs
The Off-line Store
Tags:modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, online shopping, internet shopping, internet shopper, internet shoppers, modern technology, modern technologies, the internet, high street, death of the high street, customer confidence, retailers, high street shop, high street shops, oput of date, outdated, offline, off-line, tradition, traditional
"Don't worry. He won't last long."
Tags:snowman, snowmen, melt, melting, melted, retail, retailer, retailers, customer service, employee, employees, employment, mall, malls, shopping, shopping center, shopping centers, shopping centre, shopping centres, department store, department stores, clothing store, clothing stores, fashion, clothes, clothing, coworker, coworkers
'All this dough and not a store in sight.'
"Mr. Colton, do we stand behind our products?"
Tags:guarantee, guarantees, guaranteeing, stand behind your work, standing behind your work, product, products, retail, retailer, retailers, retail store, retail stores, electronics store, electronics stores, ominous, concern, concerns, concerning, worry, worries, worrying, unreliable, reliability, return, returns, return policy, return policies, boss, shop, shops, shopping, modern life, boss, bosses, customer service, customer service representative, sales, sales training, sales trainer, sales trainers, boss, bosses, clerk, clerks, store clerk, store clerks, reassure, reassures, reassuring, reassurance
Stranger in Strange Land's End Catalog
'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'
'...and this one comes with two trilobites of memory.'
Boss: '...Let's not forget who our customers are!' (It turns out they just have one left).
Apostle shopping at 'Aeroapostle' Store.
"Unbelievable—Lohri's not even over and already the stores are putting out their Baisakhi stuff."
Tags:vaisakhi, baisakhi, vaishakhi, vasakhi, sikh, sikhs, sikhism, hindus, hinduism, commercialism, commercial, sell out, sells out, selling out, retailer, retailers, shop, shops, store, stores, commercialized, commercialised, holiday, holidays, religious holiday, religious holidays, true meaning, true meanings, lohri, christmas, christmas decoration, christmas decorations, overhype, overhyped, overhyping, consumerism, consumerist, consumer, consumers
Sidewalk sign holder holding sign that says 'Save 100%! (don't buy it).
"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."
'What do you buy the man who has lost everything?'
"This never could have happened at www.amazon.com."
Holiday Gift Return
Tags:disenchantment, disenchanted, gift, gifts, return, returns, gift return, line, lines, lined up, queue, queues, gift giving, shopping, shop, store, stores, holiday, holidays, christmas, holiday shopping, christmas shopping, customer, customers, retail, retail shopping, retailer, retailers, retail business, retail businesses, customer service, client service
"Surprise! It's my birthday."
Tags:birthday, birthdays, shopping spree, shopping sprees, birthday present, birthday presents, present, presents, gift, gifts, shop, shops, shopping, buy, buys, buying, retail therapy, forgot, forget, forgets, forgetful, husband, husbands, spouse, spouses, wife, wives, retail therapy, retailer, retailers